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I’m in my mid-forties, and for most of my adult life, my career was the number one priority. Honestly, I never thought twice about it - deadlines, business trips, late-night emails… you name it, that was me. Family? Relationships? They always came second. Or maybe not even second - they just weren’t on the list.
Over the years, people would tell me, “Don’t you get lonely?” And I’d just laugh it off. I had colleagues, a circle of acquaintances, and enough work to keep me busy.
Like many people, I tried the usual suspects: Tinder, Bumble, all that. And let me be honest: it felt like a job interview mixed with a bad audition. Swipe left, swipe right, profiles with perfect smiles and zero depth. I kept thinking, “This isn’t me. I don’t have the energy to play that game.” And maybe I’d gotten out of the habit of just… spending time with someone.
My therapist (yes, I finally listened to mine) told me, “It’s okay if you’re not ready for the traditional path. Maybe try something that feels less pressured. Something where you can connect without having to leave your comfort zone.” At first, I rolled my eyes, but you know what? She was right.
When I started using Instantalks, it felt like a small rescue. I didn’t have to dress up, or drive across the city, or pretend I was less tired than I really was. I could just… show up as me. Some evenings I’d ramble about my day, other times I’d just listen. And weirdly enough, those conversations started to feel more genuine than any of the polished “dates” I’d forced myself into before.
There’s something about talking at a distance that gave me space to breathe. No pressure, no ticking clock, no awkward restaurant bill. Just connection, on my terms. And for someone like me, who’s always been running from one meeting to another, that’s priceless.
Do I regret spending so much of my life focused on work? Not really. That’s who I was, and I made peace with it. But am I glad I finally gave myself permission to slow down and explore this kind of communication? Absolutely.