Seriously, Stop Using These Words In Your Online Dating Profiles

Creativity is hard. I get it.

I stare at blank pages every day and have to turn them into useful, compelling content. It's always intimidating, but the fact that it's a daily routine makes it increasingly less stressful all the time.

Then there's your online dating profile. It also requires creativity and compelling use of language, but it's not a skill you're practicing every day. You do it once, with occasional revamps when something isn't working, and that's it.

So, yeah, there's pressure. And sometimes the easiest way to avoid feeling that pressure is to stick with what you already know, and apply formulas you think have already been proven. The problem with using that approach to your online dating profile is that, pretty soon, every profile you scroll through will look like all the others. They become one big blur of trendy, but ultimately dull, buzzwords.

You've probably already noticed certain words and phrases keep popping up in your matches. Everyone is “spontaneous” and “laidback” and “up for an adventure.” We love to travel. We couldn't do without our friends and family. All those things might be true, but this is also true: they're drop dead boring. They're essentially the modern equivalent of saying you like long walks on the beach.

You think you're describing your personality, when what you're actually doing is saying “I have no idea how to describe myself” (or maybe even “I don't know myself”). The buzzwords are making you less nuanced and unique than you actually are, because their ubiquity means they've lost their meaning.

Here's what you need instead. Researchers from Barts and the London School of Medicine and the University of North Texas found that the most successful dating messages directly address someone's personality, so you need to make sure your profile is full of that personality. It's your job to pack it with conversation starters so potential dates can send you interesting, thoughtful messages. If you don't, your inbox will be a sea of “Hey” and “Hi there.”

Remember that your profile is meant to represent a living, breathing, complex human being. Provide context and get specific. If you say you're up for an adventure, mention a wild exploit you're hoping to cross off your bucket list some day. If you're into travel, mention your favorite destination and explain why. If you want to go for drinks, say you're a sucker for gritty dive bars with metal music.

At the end of the day, no one is dating your profile. They're dating you – so share the stories that make the person behind the screen come alive.