Preferences and Character
- Friday, September 06 2013 @ 07:01 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,095
As one might expect, we tend to take a very self-oriented approach when it comes to reading the dating profiles of others. In other words, while we’re reading we’re constantly asking ourselves whether we “fit” what the other person is looking for. This is natural, and in fact, it can be helpful to assume that others are doing the same thing when you’re writing your own profile.
However, it can be useful to look a little outside ourselves when we’re perusing profiles. Just as you can gain an insight into someone’s character by witnessing how they treat wait staff on a date, so too can you glean information by observing how others are treated on a dating profile.
For example, let’s say someone is looking for a very specific physical type. You may fit that physical type and generally think no more of it. But is the author of the profile direct and honest, or do they feel the need to make dramatic statements like “No one overweight! Put down the cookie, yeesh!”? If it’s the latter, they might be telling you more about themselves than their physical preferences.
Similarly, some profiles allow you to select the various races and ethnicities from which you might be interested in meeting someone. But if someone makes a big deal and says they’re willing to date people from every race except one specific one, it might be worth noting, even if you’re within one of the “acceptable” races.
Some people are simply attracted to a narrow range of types, and there’s nothing wrong with being specific on an online dating profile; after all, that’s how we customize our searches. But sometimes our profiles tell much more about ourselves and our character than we even intend. It’s not a bad idea to pay attention to these clues and even red flags, even if they don’t specifically pertain to us.
It also doesn’t hurt to skim back over our own profiles, our own phrasing, and make sure we’re not sending messages we didn’t intend. Is your profile consistent with your character?
However, it can be useful to look a little outside ourselves when we’re perusing profiles. Just as you can gain an insight into someone’s character by witnessing how they treat wait staff on a date, so too can you glean information by observing how others are treated on a dating profile.
For example, let’s say someone is looking for a very specific physical type. You may fit that physical type and generally think no more of it. But is the author of the profile direct and honest, or do they feel the need to make dramatic statements like “No one overweight! Put down the cookie, yeesh!”? If it’s the latter, they might be telling you more about themselves than their physical preferences.
Similarly, some profiles allow you to select the various races and ethnicities from which you might be interested in meeting someone. But if someone makes a big deal and says they’re willing to date people from every race except one specific one, it might be worth noting, even if you’re within one of the “acceptable” races.
Some people are simply attracted to a narrow range of types, and there’s nothing wrong with being specific on an online dating profile; after all, that’s how we customize our searches. But sometimes our profiles tell much more about ourselves and our character than we even intend. It’s not a bad idea to pay attention to these clues and even red flags, even if they don’t specifically pertain to us.
It also doesn’t hurt to skim back over our own profiles, our own phrasing, and make sure we’re not sending messages we didn’t intend. Is your profile consistent with your character?
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