Online Dating: Artificial or Honest?
- Saturday, September 14 2013 @ 10:13 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,394
“It’s not just online dating I’m opposed to,” I once heard someone proclaim. “It’s all dating. It’s just so artificial. Like something from another time.” Sure, this scoffing might rankle a little (would that everyone found love so easily that dating were completely unnecessary!) but rather than dismissing the comment out of hand, let’s consider it.
“Dating is like something from another time.” When you consider the courtship and dating practices from other times and cultures, you might conclude that they’re usually born from necessity. In cultures where, say, genders were completely separated, there wouldn’t be much daily interaction. Thus, something a little more heavy-handed like matchmaking might seem a more natural conclusion. As times become more modern, people interact at school or at work. Supervision is less necessary, but because you meet under “non-relationship-seeking” circumstances, you still need time to assess your compatibility one-on-one. As such, you get “going out,” which is less formal than dating because the getting-to-know-you part has happened bit by bit somewhere else.
But what if you’re not in school anymore? What if you work solely with people who are all married or dramatically out of your age bracket? What if you don’t share interests with anyone in your day-to-day life, or even sexual orientation?
The reason online dating has evolved and is growing in popularity is because dating is not “something from another time.” It’s the latest answer to an eternal problem. Falling in love is still entirely natural - it’s meeting people in the first place that causes us the most problems!
Ultimately, there’s not much difference between meeting someone at work, at church, serendipitously at the grocery store, or through an online dating site. You’re “looking for love” the entire time. In fact, online dating could be considered the superior option: you’re not waiting around for a serendipitous moment. You join groups or clubs solely for the enjoyment, not the possibility of meeting someone. You can focus more at work. Online dating may be “artificial” but no more awkward and artificial than meeting someone new has always been. Instead of fighting romance, why not pursue it in the most straightforward way possible?
“Dating is like something from another time.” When you consider the courtship and dating practices from other times and cultures, you might conclude that they’re usually born from necessity. In cultures where, say, genders were completely separated, there wouldn’t be much daily interaction. Thus, something a little more heavy-handed like matchmaking might seem a more natural conclusion. As times become more modern, people interact at school or at work. Supervision is less necessary, but because you meet under “non-relationship-seeking” circumstances, you still need time to assess your compatibility one-on-one. As such, you get “going out,” which is less formal than dating because the getting-to-know-you part has happened bit by bit somewhere else.
But what if you’re not in school anymore? What if you work solely with people who are all married or dramatically out of your age bracket? What if you don’t share interests with anyone in your day-to-day life, or even sexual orientation?
The reason online dating has evolved and is growing in popularity is because dating is not “something from another time.” It’s the latest answer to an eternal problem. Falling in love is still entirely natural - it’s meeting people in the first place that causes us the most problems!
Ultimately, there’s not much difference between meeting someone at work, at church, serendipitously at the grocery store, or through an online dating site. You’re “looking for love” the entire time. In fact, online dating could be considered the superior option: you’re not waiting around for a serendipitous moment. You join groups or clubs solely for the enjoyment, not the possibility of meeting someone. You can focus more at work. Online dating may be “artificial” but no more awkward and artificial than meeting someone new has always been. Instead of fighting romance, why not pursue it in the most straightforward way possible?
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