YourTango Online Dating Bootcampe: Day Six

So you've met someone online who tickles your fancy, but you're unsure of how to proceed. Enter Janet Ong, the expert in charge of Day Six of YourTango's online dating bootcamp, who shares ten do's and don'ts of communicating with a potential paramour via email, text, phone, and instant message. Here's how to make sure everything goes smoothly before the first date:

1. DO be yourself. The only way to build a real connection with someone is to be authentic. You don't want them to fall for someone who isn't really you, just like you wouldn't want to fall for someone only to find out that they're a completely different person offline. Letting your guard down invites someone else to do the same, and shows you in an attractive, confident light.
2. DO keep an open mind. Be a little adventurous when it comes to choosing an activity for your first date. If they suggest something you've never done before, give it a try! A willingness to explore and step out of your comfort zone is sexy.
3. DO keep things light. Life is hard enough...why make dating hard, too? Stay away from serious or controversial subjects, and stick to the things that make life fun.
4. DO be interesting. The key to keeping someone interested is having multiple dimensions to your personality. Pursue hobbies, learn new things, and live your life as fully as possible. The more you love your life, the more interesting your life will be to other people (and the more things you'll have to talk about).
5. DO listen carefully. I know you love talking about yourself, but don't forget to hit the pause button and spend some time listening. When you put the focus on your date, and remember the things they share with you, you show a genuine interest in getting to know them that will make them feel heard and appreciated.
6. DON'T reveal too much. Your medical history and your relationship history are off limits. There will be plenty of time to get more personal after you've been on several dates, but for now steer clear of anything negative.
7. DON'T be judgmental. Listen and respond with respect at all times, even if you don't agree with your date's point of view. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
8. DON'T overanalyze. Don't search for the hidden meaning in everything your date says or writes. "When you form preconceived notions, you may miss out on a potentially good partner," says Ong. "Instead of being so quick to write him off, take the time to get to know him instead. After all, many people come across better in person."
9. DON'T rush things. Contacting someone too often reeks of desperation and neediness. If you're concerned about how much is too much, let your date initiate communication and respond in a timely fashion.
10. DON'T let your past derail your present. Comparing your new date to dates past hurts more than it helps. Real communication only happens when you aren't stuck on comparisons and creating barriers to getting to know each other. It's staying in the present that really determines your future.

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