YourTango Online Dating Bootcamp: Day Eleven

Online dating safety: everybody talks about it, but does everybody actually do it?

Sometimes it feels like I see a horror story about online dating every time I log on, and although I know that many stories are sensationalized and most people online aren't dangerous, it's still enough make me stop and think. Online dating is mostly safe, but meeting someone over the Internet just doesn't have the same assurances as meeting someone through a friend or at your favorite local hangout. Looking for the best in everyone is a healthy attitude, but protecting yourself from the hidden dangers that may be lurking online is a smart bet.

For Day Eleven of YourTango's online dating bootcamp, Louann Schwager Tung takes on online dating safety. In the past, Tung says, we turned to people in our community - like parents and close friends - for their matchmaking expertise. We relied on those we trusted most to introduce us to potential dates and to help determine if they would make suitable long-term partners. Now, although the Internet is an incredible resource for love seekers, we lack that community support. That's why it's so important to take safety seriously when dating online.

Online dating safety is like car insurance, Tung explains. More often than not, you won't need it. But if something happens, you'll be glad you have it. Here's what you can do:

• Use a paid online dating service. Money talks! Someone who pays for an online dating service is more likely to serious about the search for a soulmate than someone using a free site. Those who are looking to take advantage of online daters are more likely to gravitate towards sites that don't charge a fee, like Plenty of Fish or even Facebook.

• Use background checks. Some paid dating services perform background checks on members. You can also perform an amateur background check of your own, but Tung firmly believes that a professional background check is well worth the extra cost.

• Be aware of privacy settings. Stay in control of the information you share with strangers online. What can be seen by everyone? What can be seen by your friends? What can only be seen by you? Check your privacy settings on a regular basis, as sites sometimes update them without adequate warning.

• Don't throw caution to the wind. Even if you think you've met the perfect person, don't let your defenses down right away. Remember that it takes time to get to know someone, especially when you meet online. Moving too fast makes you vulnerable to online criminals.

9 times out of 10, cyberspace is a perfectly safe place to meet your match, but it always pays to be safe. Go with your gut and trust your instincts - if something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

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