When You Don't Have a Personal Photographer

Advice
  • Tuesday, May 08 2012 @ 10:08 am
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Everyone knows they need to have a picture, preferably several, for their online dating profile. The question is, how do we go about obtaining them? The simplest, easiest way would be a self-taken photo in a mirror or using a web cam; unfortunately, those are often the most boring, least appealing, and poor-quality.

Ideally, you have a friend who’s a budding photographer and who loves to snap candids. Photos while you’re out on the town! Photos while you’re hanging out on the park! Photos where you’re holding the door open for a nice elderly couple! Someone who catches you at your best, who finds moments that define “you,” and who happens to grab all-photogenic angles, of course. Sadly, most of us don’t have that friend - or maybe you’re the budding photographer, and you have great shots of other people and none of yourself.

Since we can’t always have the ideal situation, we have to make lemonade where we can. First of all, maybe it’s not the most natural, but next time you’re hanging out with your friends, hand them a camera and ask them to get some candid snapshots of you. Yes, you might feel a little self-conscious at first, but at least you’re trying to achieve something more natural than standing in the bathroom mirror. Your friends might not always get the best shots, but often a photo with some energy, with a natural laugh, for instance, is more appealing than one that gets just the right angle. Our brains will naturally compare against the other photos you include and we’ll realize you don’t really have that many chins normally. Meanwhile, we’re getting to see a less-posed side of you.

Try to resist going for the candids that are more than two or three years old - chances are you look different enough by now that it’s going to raise eyebrows. If it’s some excellent, unrepeatable shot - you’re scaling the side of a mountain, say - go ahead and include it, but make sure you make note of the date. Full honesty will get you further in the long run than lies of omission.

Chances are, even under the best circumstances, you aren’t going to have enough candids, and you’re going to want to use self-photography to pad out your profile. This is understandable; however, if there’s one rule you keep in mind, it’s smile with your eyes! Smiling with your entire face is preferable, but for some that only makes them feel more self-conscious. Still, make sure there’s at least a little twinkle going on, or else your photo is more likely to conjure up mug shots or the latest zombie movie. A good trick is to put a comedy on the background, something that genuinely makes you smile.

Just remember: when you’re choosing photos to use on your profile, you’re not looking for the photo where all of your features objectively look the best. That might be a nice bonus, but what you really want are photos that show personality: that sassy smile, that full-bodied laugh, that mischievous grin. Your sense of adventure, or your shy wit. Bear these pointers in mind, and perhaps even without a lot of material to choose from, you’ll wind up with a profile that shows who you are, rather than simply what you look like.

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