You Can't Wrap Your Heart In Bubble-Wrap
- Sunday, August 22 2010 @ 02:52 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,362
One of the hardest parts of dating is the gamble that it might not work. To a certain extent, dating is a numbers game; it's unlikely that every single date will work out and lead to a happily ever after (and if it did, I'd be asking you why you continue to go on new dates!). We address this concern in popular culture; we try to make it obvious that not every date, or even every relationship, will work out – I know I've seen more than my share of merchandise with “cute” sayings about kissing many frogs before you meet a prince. Still, the knowledge that it's just “part of dating” doesn't take the sting out.
But maybe it shouldn't. Maybe we shouldn't try to immunize ourselves from the emotions brought about by meeting new people, people that could potentially be lifelong friends or more. Because if you're going to put yourself through dating, with all its ups and downs, why go halfway? Do you want to be caught with one foot out the door when you actually meet someone worthwhile?
Or perhaps the question should be: if you're not completely present, mind, body and soul, at a first date, will you even recognize a good thing if you see it? Imagine: you're someone who's had a fair amount of unsuccessful relationships, and even more unsuccessful first dates. Will you be spending your time listening to your date, determining if you really are compatible? Or, perhaps, you'll be trying to figure out what's “wrong” with your date before you're caught unawares. The slightest imperfections in your date become magnified, so that in case things go wrong you can tell yourself, “Well, I could never be with someone with such a large forehead, anyway.”
Taking the latter approach might save your feelings in the short run – but have you really come out ahead? What if there actually was nothing “wrong” with your date? What if you become so concerned about protecting your heart that you miss a chance to share it?
So maybe not all first dates and relationships work out. Maybe there's a sting every now and then – it's part of life. Don't let yourself become so numb that you miss out on something great.
But maybe it shouldn't. Maybe we shouldn't try to immunize ourselves from the emotions brought about by meeting new people, people that could potentially be lifelong friends or more. Because if you're going to put yourself through dating, with all its ups and downs, why go halfway? Do you want to be caught with one foot out the door when you actually meet someone worthwhile?
Or perhaps the question should be: if you're not completely present, mind, body and soul, at a first date, will you even recognize a good thing if you see it? Imagine: you're someone who's had a fair amount of unsuccessful relationships, and even more unsuccessful first dates. Will you be spending your time listening to your date, determining if you really are compatible? Or, perhaps, you'll be trying to figure out what's “wrong” with your date before you're caught unawares. The slightest imperfections in your date become magnified, so that in case things go wrong you can tell yourself, “Well, I could never be with someone with such a large forehead, anyway.”
Taking the latter approach might save your feelings in the short run – but have you really come out ahead? What if there actually was nothing “wrong” with your date? What if you become so concerned about protecting your heart that you miss a chance to share it?
So maybe not all first dates and relationships work out. Maybe there's a sting every now and then – it's part of life. Don't let yourself become so numb that you miss out on something great.
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