Worry About It Tomorrow
- Saturday, September 18 2010 @ 08:19 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,434
In theory, you should have it made. You've met someone, and hit it off. Your initial expectations when getting into this online dating thing have already been exceeded. The thing is, you've gotten this far in a relationship before... and it didn't work out. What if you fail this time? How can you make this relationship succeed? You know you should be happy, but you can't seem to get out of your own head.
Sometimes, our relationship problems lie not in meeting someone, but in getting in our own way. Micro-managing is a great trait in some professions; in the world of romance, however, it can be a bit of a hindrance. After all, a relationship is comprised of at least two separate people; you can't control the other person, so ultimately, you can't control the relationship.
So what's an over-thinker to do to avoid tripping themselves up? Well, I recommend what I call the Mint Julip method. Ask yourself, “On the whole, am I happy in this relationship today?” If the answer is “Yes,” follow it up with, “Then I'll worry about the relationship tomorrow.” Tell yourself this every day.
Another useful tip for the generally anxious person is to keep lines of communication open with their significant other. Are you worried you might be smothering them? Ask them about it. Are you afraid there might have been a misunderstanding? Address the issue. Dwelling on a problem without bringing it up will only lead to more anxiety.
Additionally, try not to over-analyze your every move and say what you feel. Are you feeling happy? Don't worry if it's too much too soon; say you're happy. It not only promotes honest communication, it helps make it second nature and less calculated.
The challenge isn't always over when you find a significant other, but that doesn't mean you can't conquer it. Staying out of your own way can be as easy – and as difficult – as relaxing. Just remember: you can always worry about it tomorrow.
Sometimes, our relationship problems lie not in meeting someone, but in getting in our own way. Micro-managing is a great trait in some professions; in the world of romance, however, it can be a bit of a hindrance. After all, a relationship is comprised of at least two separate people; you can't control the other person, so ultimately, you can't control the relationship.
So what's an over-thinker to do to avoid tripping themselves up? Well, I recommend what I call the Mint Julip method. Ask yourself, “On the whole, am I happy in this relationship today?” If the answer is “Yes,” follow it up with, “Then I'll worry about the relationship tomorrow.” Tell yourself this every day.
Another useful tip for the generally anxious person is to keep lines of communication open with their significant other. Are you worried you might be smothering them? Ask them about it. Are you afraid there might have been a misunderstanding? Address the issue. Dwelling on a problem without bringing it up will only lead to more anxiety.
Additionally, try not to over-analyze your every move and say what you feel. Are you feeling happy? Don't worry if it's too much too soon; say you're happy. It not only promotes honest communication, it helps make it second nature and less calculated.
The challenge isn't always over when you find a significant other, but that doesn't mean you can't conquer it. Staying out of your own way can be as easy – and as difficult – as relaxing. Just remember: you can always worry about it tomorrow.
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