Words that Kill your Online Dating Profile: monogamy

Next on the list of words that kill your online dating profile is one that everyone THINKS is a good thing, but really isn’t something you should mention – monogamy.

You’re thinking, “But that’s a noble goal! It should be all about two people in love and faithful to one another forever and ever. Why would stating you want that be a bad thing?”

Sorry, friends. It’s another one of those things where the word says more about you than you realize.

Remember how using the phrase “no drama” implies you’ve experienced more than your share of drama? Well, using “monogamy” implies you’ve experienced more than your share of cheating. More specifically, you’ve been cheated on. Or, someone you are very close to has had their heart broken as a result of cheating.

No, I’m not psychic. (At least not most of the time!)

Remember that your first goal on a dating site is to get someone to write to you. You’re not asking for an exclusive relationship from the first email, or even the first date. For starters, you’re looking for someone with similar interests and a similar worldview.

Also, most cheaters either:

1) know they’ll always be cheaters and don’t care who they hurt in the process or 2) vow to themselves they’ll never cheat again.

Either way, they’re not going to avoid your profile simply because you say you want monogamy. (The #1s might because they’ll peg you as a difficult target, but there are always players that enjoy a challenge if you’re attractive enough to work harder to catch!)

The people who are going to give your profile a raised eyebrow are those who are always monogamous. (The very people you want to date!!) They’re going to think to themselves, “Hmmm, I wonder why it was important for her to mention monogamy. Did her last boyfriend cheat? Is she damaged goods?”

Pull the monogamy reference from your profile. It’s something you can discuss when it’s relevant – once you’ve met in the real world and decided to date each other exclusively.