Wondering Why
- Thursday, March 07 2013 @ 09:06 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,149
Some online dating sites have a feature that can be downright unnerving: the ability to see who’s been viewing your profile. Seeing that someone has viewed your profile (but not, apparently, attempted to contact you in any way) can send a carousel of what-ifs coursing through your mind: “Why didn’t they decide to email me? What turned them off? Was it something specific on my profile?” It’s tempting to look over their profile in turn, analyzing where the incompatibility might lie - and if their profile is appealing, even more angst about what might have been can surface. Now imagine they’re coming back to view your profile more than once: an entirely new set of questions to ponder.
In truth, there’s likely way too much overanalyzing going on in this hypothetical situation. There are actually many reasons why someone might view your profile and not contact you right away, or view it more than once. For example: perhaps they viewed your profile the first time at work, or at a time that wasn’t conducive to sitting down and composing something thoughtful. They intend to write you later, but perhaps they get busy, or can’t find you again, or can’t remember your screen name. It’s unfortunate, but it’s certainly not due to any fault of yours.
Perhaps you piqued someone’s interest, but they were already focused on someone else. Later, they remember you, or come across your profile again. Just because someone decides not to contact you at this moment does not mean they are completely uninterested. And, while less common, there is even a possibility that they chose not to contact you because they felt you wouldn’t be interested in them.
However, analyzing these potential excuses is ultimately as effective as tying yourself in knots over negative what-ifs - meaning not effective at all. So what do we do? If you see someone’s been perusing your profile and you’re interested in what you see, don’t be afraid to do the contacting. Even if a quick email exchange or date ultimately reveals that you’re not compatible, it’s likely less stressful than tormenting yourself with imaginary scenarios. After all, isn’t it better to walk away satisfied in the knowledge that you’re not a good fit?
And, of course, there’s one other possibility: that your contacting could be the first step in a new relationship. Perhaps that nerve-wracking feature of that online dating site isn’t such a bad idea after all.
In truth, there’s likely way too much overanalyzing going on in this hypothetical situation. There are actually many reasons why someone might view your profile and not contact you right away, or view it more than once. For example: perhaps they viewed your profile the first time at work, or at a time that wasn’t conducive to sitting down and composing something thoughtful. They intend to write you later, but perhaps they get busy, or can’t find you again, or can’t remember your screen name. It’s unfortunate, but it’s certainly not due to any fault of yours.
Perhaps you piqued someone’s interest, but they were already focused on someone else. Later, they remember you, or come across your profile again. Just because someone decides not to contact you at this moment does not mean they are completely uninterested. And, while less common, there is even a possibility that they chose not to contact you because they felt you wouldn’t be interested in them.
However, analyzing these potential excuses is ultimately as effective as tying yourself in knots over negative what-ifs - meaning not effective at all. So what do we do? If you see someone’s been perusing your profile and you’re interested in what you see, don’t be afraid to do the contacting. Even if a quick email exchange or date ultimately reveals that you’re not compatible, it’s likely less stressful than tormenting yourself with imaginary scenarios. After all, isn’t it better to walk away satisfied in the knowledge that you’re not a good fit?
And, of course, there’s one other possibility: that your contacting could be the first step in a new relationship. Perhaps that nerve-wracking feature of that online dating site isn’t such a bad idea after all.
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