Why Didn’t He Call Back?
- Wednesday, July 06 2011 @ 08:57 am
- Contributed by: kellyseal
- Views: 1,387
For many single women, a quiet phone can be one of the most frustrating parts of dating. You finally meet a man you hit it off with on a first date. He asks you out again on another date, and then a third. Then he stops calling and texting, and makes no more plans with you. He seems to have disappeared. You wonder what you’ve done wrong, or ask why this keeps happening.
Most likely it’s not anything you’ve said or done, but your mindset. Let me explain.
Men tend to have a much more casual approach to dating and getting to know someone compared to women. If he feels attraction or chemistry on a first date, he will likely ask her out again. So, what is he thinking at this point?
He is getting to know you. He doesn’t have any expectations so early on. Men generally prefer to get to know a woman before thinking about being in a relationship. Do some men prefer to pursue right out of the gate? Yes, but generally this is sexually motivated and not an indication that he is emotionally pursuing anything long-term. It does not mean your relationship is headed towards a happily-ever-after.
For most men, relationships take time to build. In the beginning, they are likely dating other women while they are seeing you. This doesn’t mean that you have to compete for attention; this means that you should also continue dating other men. Even if you can’t stop thinking about him. Take a step back, and recognize that you are just getting to know him as well. You don’t know who he is after two or three dates, so you can’t make assumptions about where your relationship is headed, or his weekend plans.
If you find yourself getting emotionally invested in a man early on…i.e. you wait for his calls, you turn down plans from friends on the weekend hoping that you’ll go out with him, or you drop everything when he calls to get together, you’re being far too eager. He is not your boyfriend, and it’s unrealistic to put expectations on him about how quickly things should move forward.
Instead of being disappointed about everything he should be doing, try changing your mindset from the start. Make plans with others. Pursue dating your newest online matches. Allow your new relationship to progress naturally. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll already have other plans to keep yourself occupied and it won’t sting so much. And if it does work out, you’ll know soon enough, because he will tell you how he feels.
Bottom line: have patience and keep dating others. Just because he isn’t calling you back right away or texting you on a daily basis after a great first or second date doesn’t mean he isn’t interested. It means he’s just getting to know you, as you are getting to know him. Take your time and enjoy the experience.
Most likely it’s not anything you’ve said or done, but your mindset. Let me explain.
Men tend to have a much more casual approach to dating and getting to know someone compared to women. If he feels attraction or chemistry on a first date, he will likely ask her out again. So, what is he thinking at this point?
He is getting to know you. He doesn’t have any expectations so early on. Men generally prefer to get to know a woman before thinking about being in a relationship. Do some men prefer to pursue right out of the gate? Yes, but generally this is sexually motivated and not an indication that he is emotionally pursuing anything long-term. It does not mean your relationship is headed towards a happily-ever-after.
For most men, relationships take time to build. In the beginning, they are likely dating other women while they are seeing you. This doesn’t mean that you have to compete for attention; this means that you should also continue dating other men. Even if you can’t stop thinking about him. Take a step back, and recognize that you are just getting to know him as well. You don’t know who he is after two or three dates, so you can’t make assumptions about where your relationship is headed, or his weekend plans.
If you find yourself getting emotionally invested in a man early on…i.e. you wait for his calls, you turn down plans from friends on the weekend hoping that you’ll go out with him, or you drop everything when he calls to get together, you’re being far too eager. He is not your boyfriend, and it’s unrealistic to put expectations on him about how quickly things should move forward.
Instead of being disappointed about everything he should be doing, try changing your mindset from the start. Make plans with others. Pursue dating your newest online matches. Allow your new relationship to progress naturally. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll already have other plans to keep yourself occupied and it won’t sting so much. And if it does work out, you’ll know soon enough, because he will tell you how he feels.
Bottom line: have patience and keep dating others. Just because he isn’t calling you back right away or texting you on a daily basis after a great first or second date doesn’t mean he isn’t interested. It means he’s just getting to know you, as you are getting to know him. Take your time and enjoy the experience.
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