Where are All the Good Men?

I hear one complaint more than any other from single women: "where are all the good men?"

While we might joke that the good ones are either already taken or gay, it's not true. Over 50% of the American adult population is single, so it's hardly a question of numbers. Instead, I say it's a question of attitude.

What I mean by this is, it often comes down to how you approach each and every date. I often overlooked the "nice" or "boring" guy on my quest to find Mr. Amazing. I felt like I deserved the whole package - looks, intelligence, some degree of career success - and if someone didn't fit my "type" then I shouldn't waste time in getting to know him. Unfortunately, this mentality worked against me, until I realized what was happening and changed my outlook. I needed to be more open, to see that I was looking for a partner with deeper qualities, like being kind and communicative.

There are many men who feel that the single women they meet dismiss them before they've even had a chance. (And for many men, it's hard to have that confident swagger we women crave after they've experienced a few rejections.) But this doesn't mean that they aren't "the whole package" in terms of being ready for a relationship. Often, the best men are the ones who don't come across as smooth and sleek the first time you talk to them - but they are the ones who are worth the time in getting to know them.

Obviously, not everyone is going to be a good match for you. I'm not suggesting you date someone you don't find at all attractive. But I am asking that you give everyone a real chance, and don't just dismiss someone or act as though you're wasting time because they don't fit your ideal of "the right man for you." Instead, it's good to approach dating with equal measures of optimism and curiosity. If you take the time to talk to him, to really get to know him, you might be surprised at what a gem you find. But how would you even know unless you gave every man you meet a real chance?

So I challenge you to do this in the new year: accept dates with men who ask you out, even if you don't feel that instant attraction, or you're unsure, or you're doubtful. Give each one the benefit of the doubt, and truly engage with them. Then see what happens.