When to Bring the Funny
- Monday, January 09 2012 @ 09:11 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,400
If you’ve ever read up on tips and tricks for writing online dating profiles, chances are you’ve come across the issue of humor - perhaps with a giant circle and a slash through it. In general, people are discouraged from trying to be funny or make jokes in their online profile. There’s a good reason: so much more than words goes into humor (tone of voice, context, facial expressions), that merely typing out a joke makes it easy to be misunderstood or simply found unfunny. So does this mean we forget about humor altogether in dating? Far from it!
Humor is very much tied up in chemistry, and we all know this on some level. Women, in particular, often state that they’re looking for someone “funny.” People who have a difficult time understanding social interaction often have an equally hard time with humor. When we laugh at the same jokes, we’re relating - we’re on the same page, sharing an experience. That’s why it can be more fun to see a comedy in a theater full of people than watching it alone at home. Now, humor isn’t all there is chemistry - I’m sure we can all think of comedians we find hilarious but don’t find attractive - but it’s a great first step.
So do you have to wait until the first date to find out if your senses of humor are compatible? Not necessarily. The first clues can be found right on the profile without cracking jokes. If you share the same favorite comedies, for example, you might be on the right track. The next step comes when you interact through email; a simple, non-stress way to share a laugh might be to throw in a funny image at the end of an email (preferably one that’s even relevant to what you were discussing - the holidays, shopping, summer, etc). Your potential match might respond with something they like in return. It’s an easy and fun way to see if you find the same material funny, without having to try to be a comedian yourself.
Trading funny material beforehand can make your first date a little easier, too - you’ll already have a conversation to pick back up. When in person, however, remember that you’re on a date, not putting on a performance; listening is just as important as talking. You’re trying to see if you fit well together, not if your date finds you funny. Plus, humor is never as good if it’s forced. Enjoy your date - the humor, if you’re compatible, will naturally support the conversation, rather than being a main focus.
Sharing a sense of humor can be a great first step in determining if you have basic chemistry - but that doesn’t mean you have to be a comedian. Instead of always trying to make someone else laugh, on your profile or in person, think about what you find funny and find out if they agree. Ultimately, it’s not about putting on a performance - it’s the shared experience that’s important.
Humor is very much tied up in chemistry, and we all know this on some level. Women, in particular, often state that they’re looking for someone “funny.” People who have a difficult time understanding social interaction often have an equally hard time with humor. When we laugh at the same jokes, we’re relating - we’re on the same page, sharing an experience. That’s why it can be more fun to see a comedy in a theater full of people than watching it alone at home. Now, humor isn’t all there is chemistry - I’m sure we can all think of comedians we find hilarious but don’t find attractive - but it’s a great first step.
So do you have to wait until the first date to find out if your senses of humor are compatible? Not necessarily. The first clues can be found right on the profile without cracking jokes. If you share the same favorite comedies, for example, you might be on the right track. The next step comes when you interact through email; a simple, non-stress way to share a laugh might be to throw in a funny image at the end of an email (preferably one that’s even relevant to what you were discussing - the holidays, shopping, summer, etc). Your potential match might respond with something they like in return. It’s an easy and fun way to see if you find the same material funny, without having to try to be a comedian yourself.
Trading funny material beforehand can make your first date a little easier, too - you’ll already have a conversation to pick back up. When in person, however, remember that you’re on a date, not putting on a performance; listening is just as important as talking. You’re trying to see if you fit well together, not if your date finds you funny. Plus, humor is never as good if it’s forced. Enjoy your date - the humor, if you’re compatible, will naturally support the conversation, rather than being a main focus.
Sharing a sense of humor can be a great first step in determining if you have basic chemistry - but that doesn’t mean you have to be a comedian. Instead of always trying to make someone else laugh, on your profile or in person, think about what you find funny and find out if they agree. Ultimately, it’s not about putting on a performance - it’s the shared experience that’s important.
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