When a Dating Site Is Like a Bar
- Sunday, March 11 2012 @ 09:22 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 956
Recently, a friend of mine, “Jenny,” asked me a question about online dating: “If the online world is parallel to the regular world, why bother with an online dating site? Can’t you just meet someone somewhere else, like an online forum or chat?”
Well, the short answer is yes, you can meet anyone just about anywhere on the Internet, just as you can meet someone walking down the street to the drugstore. However, there are distinct advantages to using an online dating site from the very beginning. First and foremost, it’s a numbers issue.
Simply put, there are going to be more single, available and receptive people “congregating” at an online dating site than anywhere else, making it a one-stop-shopping experience of sorts. If you wanted to find someone in person, you could potentially find them at the grocery store - but you might also see families or elderly couples. Conversely, go to a bar and a club, and you might see more available people. Online dating sites are like a bar - one that’s always full, with no set hours, no loud music or smoke, and can be customized for any age bracket or range of interests.
Next, there’s the issue of intent. If you contact someone on an online dating site who is specifically looking for the possibility of a long-term relationship, chances are you might be looking to settle down, too. Someone who clearly states they’re only looking for flings will hopefully only pursue dates with those who are looking for the same. On online dating sites, intent is very clearly stated - and it’s implied that if you’re on a dating site at all, you’re looking for romance of some kind.
Conversely, on a regular social networking site or forum you have people there for a wide range of reasons. Some are looking for close friendship, but of the platonic kind. It’s much easier to get wires crossed and intentions confused. And since many don’t join those sorts of networks looking for romance, when emotions are stirred up they can knock everyone for a loop. Situations can become even more messy and awkward than usual.
That’s not to say perfectly healthy, lovely relationships can’t form just about anywhere - and you really shouldn’t blind yourself to the possibility of love, whether you’re on a dating site or at the post office. Still, if you’re looking to maximize your chances of finding someone compatible in the shortest amount of time, an online dating site is customized for that exact purpose. Why not take advantage of every available tool?
Well, the short answer is yes, you can meet anyone just about anywhere on the Internet, just as you can meet someone walking down the street to the drugstore. However, there are distinct advantages to using an online dating site from the very beginning. First and foremost, it’s a numbers issue.
Simply put, there are going to be more single, available and receptive people “congregating” at an online dating site than anywhere else, making it a one-stop-shopping experience of sorts. If you wanted to find someone in person, you could potentially find them at the grocery store - but you might also see families or elderly couples. Conversely, go to a bar and a club, and you might see more available people. Online dating sites are like a bar - one that’s always full, with no set hours, no loud music or smoke, and can be customized for any age bracket or range of interests.
Next, there’s the issue of intent. If you contact someone on an online dating site who is specifically looking for the possibility of a long-term relationship, chances are you might be looking to settle down, too. Someone who clearly states they’re only looking for flings will hopefully only pursue dates with those who are looking for the same. On online dating sites, intent is very clearly stated - and it’s implied that if you’re on a dating site at all, you’re looking for romance of some kind.
Conversely, on a regular social networking site or forum you have people there for a wide range of reasons. Some are looking for close friendship, but of the platonic kind. It’s much easier to get wires crossed and intentions confused. And since many don’t join those sorts of networks looking for romance, when emotions are stirred up they can knock everyone for a loop. Situations can become even more messy and awkward than usual.
That’s not to say perfectly healthy, lovely relationships can’t form just about anywhere - and you really shouldn’t blind yourself to the possibility of love, whether you’re on a dating site or at the post office. Still, if you’re looking to maximize your chances of finding someone compatible in the shortest amount of time, an online dating site is customized for that exact purpose. Why not take advantage of every available tool?
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