When You're Similar, But Not the Same
- Tuesday, November 15 2011 @ 07:23 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,124
Sometimes you’ll see a profile that really makes you think you’d just click. You have a similar taste in movies; maybe the potential match writes something you actually think is funny. You read their profile, and your first thought is, “I really want to get to know this person.”
There’s only one problem: while it’s true you do have some common interests, and you certainly think you have compatible personalities, there are more specific differences than similarities. Maybe you’re a lifelong member of the National Couch Potatoes, and they love sports. Perhaps they’re a scientist, and you flunked Biology. Sure, you can focus on your similarities in your short, sweet first-contact email, but surely these differences will come up eventually. What then?
This is the point where so many get themselves in trouble: the White Lie. “It won’t hurt anything if I fudge this little fact... and maybe that one,” you might think. And maybe, ultimately, it won’t. But even if the lie was about something of little consequence, no one likes discovering they’ve been lied to, especially if it was early and often. Why not start your relationship off on the right foot?
So if you can’t bend the truth, what do you do? Be completely honest, but positive. Remember what the main goal is: having fun spending time together. If you’re not self-conscious, maybe you could suggest a sports lesson, or something that meets in the middle, like bowling or mini-golf. It’s okay if you’re not a science whiz, but remember not to excessively bash the subject your match clearly loves. You’re looking for a complementary personality, not a bridge partner or a thrifting buddy; not every interest needs to line up. Plus, you might even gain new knowledge and interests from each other.
If you come across that profile where the person shines through regardless of their interests, don’t be afraid to contact them. However, this is a reminder to ensure that your profile isn’t simply a laundry list of hobbies. With a well-thought profile, and maybe a little bravery, perhaps they’ll see the same compatibility in you!
There’s only one problem: while it’s true you do have some common interests, and you certainly think you have compatible personalities, there are more specific differences than similarities. Maybe you’re a lifelong member of the National Couch Potatoes, and they love sports. Perhaps they’re a scientist, and you flunked Biology. Sure, you can focus on your similarities in your short, sweet first-contact email, but surely these differences will come up eventually. What then?
This is the point where so many get themselves in trouble: the White Lie. “It won’t hurt anything if I fudge this little fact... and maybe that one,” you might think. And maybe, ultimately, it won’t. But even if the lie was about something of little consequence, no one likes discovering they’ve been lied to, especially if it was early and often. Why not start your relationship off on the right foot?
So if you can’t bend the truth, what do you do? Be completely honest, but positive. Remember what the main goal is: having fun spending time together. If you’re not self-conscious, maybe you could suggest a sports lesson, or something that meets in the middle, like bowling or mini-golf. It’s okay if you’re not a science whiz, but remember not to excessively bash the subject your match clearly loves. You’re looking for a complementary personality, not a bridge partner or a thrifting buddy; not every interest needs to line up. Plus, you might even gain new knowledge and interests from each other.
If you come across that profile where the person shines through regardless of their interests, don’t be afraid to contact them. However, this is a reminder to ensure that your profile isn’t simply a laundry list of hobbies. With a well-thought profile, and maybe a little bravery, perhaps they’ll see the same compatibility in you!
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