When You're Looking for a Date, Not Love
- Monday, August 13 2012 @ 09:02 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 979
It’s probably not much of a stretch to say that the majority of people with online dating profiles are hoping to find their “true love” - or, at the least, a committed, long-term relationship. However, not everyone is looking for something long-term, and some people aren’t looking for anything exclusive. What special considerations should they bear in mind?
First, be clear and upfront about your intentions. Assume that the default position on a non-niche site is that the readers are single, looking for someone with whom they share the potential for a long-term, committed, exclusive relationship. If you’re looking for something different, you need to say so. You might find that it gets you less responses in the short term, but it will be just as frustrating later (if not more so) when someone breaks things off after they realize you want different things.
It doesn’t have to sound harsh or crude; there are all stages of life, and you happen to be in one where true love isn’t your top priority. Think about what your priorities are - fun, maybe, or friendship, or maybe keeping things low-stress - and play up the positive aspects of that. You probably want to avoid overt statements about physical relationships; again, that’s sort of the default when people are looking to date, so there’s no need to go into gory detail... unless “hooking up” is your sole priority, and then it’s better to be honest.
Next, remember that you don’t need to apologize for wanting an unconventional relationship; one of the benefits of online dating sites is that they help you find a match, even when you have unconventional interests. Being upfront and confident about what you’re looking for is the best way to find a date that’s right for you. Remember, you’re looking for someone whose priorities are on par with yours. No need to apologize to someone who doesn’t fit those, any more than you would apologize for not being the same political affiliation, or for being a vegetarian. These are your life choices.
With these tips, and the usual editing requirements, you should be well on your way to finding people with similar goals and desires, even if they’re unconventional. They’re out there - you just might need to take a little time with some custom searches to find them. And of course, make sure your profile doesn’t get lost in the shuffle, so they can find you!
First, be clear and upfront about your intentions. Assume that the default position on a non-niche site is that the readers are single, looking for someone with whom they share the potential for a long-term, committed, exclusive relationship. If you’re looking for something different, you need to say so. You might find that it gets you less responses in the short term, but it will be just as frustrating later (if not more so) when someone breaks things off after they realize you want different things.
It doesn’t have to sound harsh or crude; there are all stages of life, and you happen to be in one where true love isn’t your top priority. Think about what your priorities are - fun, maybe, or friendship, or maybe keeping things low-stress - and play up the positive aspects of that. You probably want to avoid overt statements about physical relationships; again, that’s sort of the default when people are looking to date, so there’s no need to go into gory detail... unless “hooking up” is your sole priority, and then it’s better to be honest.
Next, remember that you don’t need to apologize for wanting an unconventional relationship; one of the benefits of online dating sites is that they help you find a match, even when you have unconventional interests. Being upfront and confident about what you’re looking for is the best way to find a date that’s right for you. Remember, you’re looking for someone whose priorities are on par with yours. No need to apologize to someone who doesn’t fit those, any more than you would apologize for not being the same political affiliation, or for being a vegetarian. These are your life choices.
With these tips, and the usual editing requirements, you should be well on your way to finding people with similar goals and desires, even if they’re unconventional. They’re out there - you just might need to take a little time with some custom searches to find them. And of course, make sure your profile doesn’t get lost in the shuffle, so they can find you!
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