When To Consider an Ex
- Saturday, August 20 2011 @ 09:01 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,253
The world of romance is fraught with drama. People are especially passionate, and hormones and brain chemicals are running high; it’s not uncommon to find yourself in a heated argument, or call everything off in one snap decision. It’s also not uncommon to change your mind later and get back together. But the decision to get back together with an ex is a loaded one. How do you know when you’re just having a bump in the romance road, and when you’re repeating past mistakes?
Maybe you can’t ever be one hundred percent certain about the future, but you can at least logically review your relationship. First, consider why you split in the first place. Was infidelity involved? Had you grown apart? Was it just a heated decision in the middle of a fight?
Next, analyze the possibility that things have changed. Has your ex demonstrably changed their behavior? Are you in a different place in your life? Have outside stressors - like school or work - faded away?
Then it’s time to review the strength of your original relationship. Do you think you can work past whatever problems you may have had? Was it a good enough relationship that it’s worth giving it another shot?
Finally, consider your gut instinct. Are you hopelessly fond of your ex, or are you just turning to something predictable and safe? It might not hurt to talk to friends and family - granted, they can be a bit biased against exes, because they’re usually there consoling you after a breakup. However, a little outside perspective never hurts, and sometimes they can remind you exactly why you broke up in the first place. Try not to get defensive if a little ex-bashing goes on - it’s simply no one wants to see you hurt. If your gut instinct is still to get back together even after discussing it with others, you might just have a shot at making things work.
It can be difficult to tell the difference between a relationship that’s doomed to fail, and one that simply has a little conflict on the way to its happily ever after. If you’re considering getting back together with an ex, just remember: the dating pool is much wider than you think it is, and an ex is never the “only” option. However, if you truly feel your ex is the only option for you... you might just be right! Good luck, and keep using the tried-and-true combo of logic and instinct.
Maybe you can’t ever be one hundred percent certain about the future, but you can at least logically review your relationship. First, consider why you split in the first place. Was infidelity involved? Had you grown apart? Was it just a heated decision in the middle of a fight?
Next, analyze the possibility that things have changed. Has your ex demonstrably changed their behavior? Are you in a different place in your life? Have outside stressors - like school or work - faded away?
Then it’s time to review the strength of your original relationship. Do you think you can work past whatever problems you may have had? Was it a good enough relationship that it’s worth giving it another shot?
Finally, consider your gut instinct. Are you hopelessly fond of your ex, or are you just turning to something predictable and safe? It might not hurt to talk to friends and family - granted, they can be a bit biased against exes, because they’re usually there consoling you after a breakup. However, a little outside perspective never hurts, and sometimes they can remind you exactly why you broke up in the first place. Try not to get defensive if a little ex-bashing goes on - it’s simply no one wants to see you hurt. If your gut instinct is still to get back together even after discussing it with others, you might just have a shot at making things work.
It can be difficult to tell the difference between a relationship that’s doomed to fail, and one that simply has a little conflict on the way to its happily ever after. If you’re considering getting back together with an ex, just remember: the dating pool is much wider than you think it is, and an ex is never the “only” option. However, if you truly feel your ex is the only option for you... you might just be right! Good luck, and keep using the tried-and-true combo of logic and instinct.
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