Types to Avoid in Online Dating

We all have a "type" that we're attracted to when we're dating. It follows that when we join an online dating site or two, we tend to search for this type by using filters - whether we look for a man or woman with a particular body type, profession, education level, or height. After all, if we could special-order the perfect date online, why not try it?

Unfortunately, this is a counter-productive habit to get into when you're online dating. When you try to choose someone with specific criteria, there's no guarantee you'll be a good match. Ironically, if you loosen those filters a bit and date outside your type likely you're more likely to find someone who clicks with you.

Let's take an example. You like tall men with dark hair. That's fantastic. Does that mean you filter out men who aren't at least six feet tall with brown hair? Or does that mean you just bypass matches with blonde hair or who are five foot eight, refusing to respond to their emails or take a look at their profiles?

It's a little silly to be so specific when it comes to dating. Just because there are a lot of people online dating, doesn't mean you will automatically fall in love with your idealized physical type, even if you pick her out of a hundred matches. In most cases, chemistry is something much more mysterious and elusive. And it's often found in the people we don't expect.

The same thing holds true for choosing based on other types - not just the physical aspects. Let's say you always pictured being married to an academic, Ivy-educated type. Or let's say you envisioned a future with an entrepreneur who owned a successful business. So you overlooked the online profiles of that chiropractor with an awesome sense of humor, or the police officer with a passion for art, two people you could have hit it off with.

Online dating makes meeting more people possible. Because of this, we also want to search until we find someone "perfect" in our eyes, which is actually just a false and idealized image we have carried with us in the past.

It's time to let go of your old types and make room for new love. The more open you are to meeting people, even if they don't fit what you've imagined for yourself, ironically, the happier you'll be in your dating life. You'll meet people who will surprise you, and give you a better idea of what you do want - and the things that are most important in a relationship. Like someone who "gets" you, who listens, who respects you, who pays attention.