Too Much, Too Soon
- Friday, August 03 2012 @ 07:02 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,328
While there are a myriad of reasons why someone might decide to try online dating, one reason does tend to pop up frequently: for some, online dating is less intimidating, less anxiety-ridden. For those that find themselves so very shy that they don’t like to approach anyone in person, online dating can make the difference between reaching out and not. But many people, even those who aren’t painfully shy, notice a difference when talking to someone online. In fact, sometimes it can be a little too easy.
The problem can be summed up in one acronym: TMI. Too much information. When we chance to meet someone in person for the first time, we’re naturally a little guarded. We’ll say hello, crack a few jokes, and maybe share a bit about ourselves, but we probably won’t delve into our problems with our exes, our sexual prowess or the minutiae of what we had for breakfast that morning. However, it’s not uncommon to see any or all of this in online profiles or social media messages.
Too much information, too soon can turn someone off altogether before they’ve had a chance to actually get to know you. Or, worse: it can cause feelings and connections that are too intense before they’ve had a chance to get to know you.
“Wait a minute,” you might be thinking. “Isn’t the point to forge an intense connection?” Well, yes, if you’re sure there’s actual chemistry between you. But I’ve known people who have had quite intense email exchanges before they’ve ever even met in person, only to discover when they finally did that there was no spark. One or both walks away, deflated, dejected and wondering why they wasted their time and energy on a relationship that was doomed to never begin.
So as you construct your online profile and write your emails, remember a few points. First, your profile is your first impression, so while you want to be memorable, open and fun, you don’t need to share every explicit detail of your life. Even your first few emails are the equivalent of small talk, general get-to-know-you feeling out and ensuring that no red flags pop up.
And after that... get to a meeting in person! There’s no point investing your heart when you don’t even know if there’s a more basic attraction between the two of you. If you start a relationship without meeting, you’re doing your potential match, as well as yourself, a disservice. So just remember: while it’s good to be open and honest, when it comes to meeting someone new there is such a thing as too much information, too quickly!
The problem can be summed up in one acronym: TMI. Too much information. When we chance to meet someone in person for the first time, we’re naturally a little guarded. We’ll say hello, crack a few jokes, and maybe share a bit about ourselves, but we probably won’t delve into our problems with our exes, our sexual prowess or the minutiae of what we had for breakfast that morning. However, it’s not uncommon to see any or all of this in online profiles or social media messages.
Too much information, too soon can turn someone off altogether before they’ve had a chance to actually get to know you. Or, worse: it can cause feelings and connections that are too intense before they’ve had a chance to get to know you.
“Wait a minute,” you might be thinking. “Isn’t the point to forge an intense connection?” Well, yes, if you’re sure there’s actual chemistry between you. But I’ve known people who have had quite intense email exchanges before they’ve ever even met in person, only to discover when they finally did that there was no spark. One or both walks away, deflated, dejected and wondering why they wasted their time and energy on a relationship that was doomed to never begin.
So as you construct your online profile and write your emails, remember a few points. First, your profile is your first impression, so while you want to be memorable, open and fun, you don’t need to share every explicit detail of your life. Even your first few emails are the equivalent of small talk, general get-to-know-you feeling out and ensuring that no red flags pop up.
And after that... get to a meeting in person! There’s no point investing your heart when you don’t even know if there’s a more basic attraction between the two of you. If you start a relationship without meeting, you’re doing your potential match, as well as yourself, a disservice. So just remember: while it’s good to be open and honest, when it comes to meeting someone new there is such a thing as too much information, too quickly!
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