Thinking of Moving in Together? Here’s What to Expect.

You've been dating a while, and now you're considering moving in together. Or maybe you're engaged and want to get settled in to your new life as a couple. Before you take such a big step as cohabitation, it's good to know that you're both on the same page as far as where the relationship is headed and what you expect from each other (as well as other more mundane stuff like paying bills and washing dishes). But usually, that's easier said than done. You might think you know your significant other, but you really don't know each other until you've shared living space.

The best step you can take is keeping an open line of communication with each other, and having the important discussions before you move in together. I've put together a checklist to help you get started:

It's important to know what you want from the relationship and to communicate it. If you want to get married, let your partner know, and same if you don't. You shouldn't expect things to evolve in a certain direction just because you move in together. It's necessary to discuss your expectations in advance.

Be open about finances. It's good to decide in advance who pays for what, and what percentage each person will pay for rent, mortgage, etc. It's also good to know if either of you has any significant debt (especially if you are paying a mortgage together.) Don't combine your checking and credit accounts right away, either. It's best to keep things separate, at least in the beginning.

Have your own space. Even if you don't have a room where you can hide away when you need to be alone, create a space in your house that's your refuge - even if it's just a desk or corner. Also, it's best if you search for a new place together rather than one of you moving into the other's house. It makes it easier - nobody feels territorial when you choose how to set up a new house together.

Split the chores. Nobody likes to feel like a parent cleaning up after a child, so make a plan to divvy up tasks like washing dishes or doing laundry. If one of you is neat while the other is a slob, recognize there will be compromising. Decide what you can tolerate before turning it into a fight. (Also, try not to nag to get something done. Would you rush to clean up because your partner screams, "you need to stop leaving your dirty socks all over the floor?" I didn't think so.)

Talk it out. Keeping the lines of communication open is essential when you're living under the same roof. So don't sweep your grievances under the carpet - no matter how small they seem. Resentments build up over time, so it's never a good idea to keep things to yourself. Trust yourself and your partner enough to have the difficult conversations.