The Average of What?
- Friday, April 30 2010 @ 11:43 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,025
As you begin your online search for your perfect match, you might have a certain physical type in mind. Most online dating sites are happy to help; they'll let you search for a specific body type, as well as define your own shape. Now, personally, I think body type is one of the last filters you should use, but if you must, here's something to remember: men and women seem to define themselves differently.
There are exceptions to every rule, of course, but in general, I've noticed women seem to be more self-critical. A slender woman who might weigh a few pounds more than she likes might call herself “a few extra pounds” or “average,” even though she looks just plain skinny to everyone else. One who is average, either for her height or within the national average, might call herself “fluffy” or “curvy.” And then there are the women who have genuine curves and describe themselves that way, but the men searching for them assume that “curvy” means “overweight.”
In contrast, I've seen several profiles in which a man calls himself “average” when, frankly, a better adjective might be “rotund” or “portly.” Men can be much more forgiving when describing themselves – even more generous than medical definitions.
So why the disconnect? Are men inherently more confident? Should we blame the impractical standards of the media? What should we take away from this?
Well, we should realize that the whole body type thing is entirely subjective, and how you view someone might be different from how they view themselves. So why filter based on body type at all? Why not base searches on common interests, or even make decisions based on whether you find them attractive?
At the very least, attempt to search a little outside your “box” - who knows what you might find?
There are exceptions to every rule, of course, but in general, I've noticed women seem to be more self-critical. A slender woman who might weigh a few pounds more than she likes might call herself “a few extra pounds” or “average,” even though she looks just plain skinny to everyone else. One who is average, either for her height or within the national average, might call herself “fluffy” or “curvy.” And then there are the women who have genuine curves and describe themselves that way, but the men searching for them assume that “curvy” means “overweight.”
In contrast, I've seen several profiles in which a man calls himself “average” when, frankly, a better adjective might be “rotund” or “portly.” Men can be much more forgiving when describing themselves – even more generous than medical definitions.
So why the disconnect? Are men inherently more confident? Should we blame the impractical standards of the media? What should we take away from this?
Well, we should realize that the whole body type thing is entirely subjective, and how you view someone might be different from how they view themselves. So why filter based on body type at all? Why not base searches on common interests, or even make decisions based on whether you find them attractive?
At the very least, attempt to search a little outside your “box” - who knows what you might find?
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