Take Dating One Pound at a Time
- Thursday, June 02 2011 @ 02:43 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,368
When most people step into the world of online dating, they have one, very specific goal in mind: to find love. Simple, right? Unfortunately, sometimes the very scope of that goal causes unnecessary fear and paralysis. They aren’t going on a date; they’re interviewing a potential spouse! They aren’t saying hello; they’re setting the course of their destiny! Before you know it, you have someone who’s afraid to go to the grocery store when they aren’t looking their best, “just in case” their future love is in the cereal aisle.
In many ways, it’s similar to the challenges people face when they try to lose weight. To say, “I want to lose thirty pounds” is daunting to say the least. Progress seems incredibly slow, and many give up before they’ve even put in much work, simply because it’s mentally exhausting. However, saying, “I’d like to lose one to two pounds a week for a month,” isn’t so bad - and then the next month, when you set that goal again, it’s even easier.
Tackling online dating in much the same way might just save your nerves and your sanity. Instead of looking for love, take small steps in the short-term. A first goal might be carefully writing and editing a profile. Once you’re satisfied with that, set a goal for the number of first-contact emails you’ll write per week (somewhere between five and ten is recommended). Remember, all you’re doing is essentially saying hello - nothing too stressful about that!
Another way to incrementally grow your dating skill is to take it out in public. Try setting a goal to smile or say hello to random strangers - they don’t even have to be people you’re interested in. Once you’re used to meeting new people, a first date will be all the easier.
Online dating and the prospect of “love” can be intimidating; rather than disadvantaging yourself with nerves, try to take the process in as many small steps as you can. Meeting new people is a skill, after all; there’s nothing wrong with a little practice.
In many ways, it’s similar to the challenges people face when they try to lose weight. To say, “I want to lose thirty pounds” is daunting to say the least. Progress seems incredibly slow, and many give up before they’ve even put in much work, simply because it’s mentally exhausting. However, saying, “I’d like to lose one to two pounds a week for a month,” isn’t so bad - and then the next month, when you set that goal again, it’s even easier.
Tackling online dating in much the same way might just save your nerves and your sanity. Instead of looking for love, take small steps in the short-term. A first goal might be carefully writing and editing a profile. Once you’re satisfied with that, set a goal for the number of first-contact emails you’ll write per week (somewhere between five and ten is recommended). Remember, all you’re doing is essentially saying hello - nothing too stressful about that!
Another way to incrementally grow your dating skill is to take it out in public. Try setting a goal to smile or say hello to random strangers - they don’t even have to be people you’re interested in. Once you’re used to meeting new people, a first date will be all the easier.
Online dating and the prospect of “love” can be intimidating; rather than disadvantaging yourself with nerves, try to take the process in as many small steps as you can. Meeting new people is a skill, after all; there’s nothing wrong with a little practice.
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