Some Things on the Internet Aren't Instant
- Wednesday, April 14 2010 @ 08:32 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,370
A long time ago, in a world with few computers and very little Internet, people who had trouble meeting others might take out a personals ad. If someone answered the ad, they might meet up for a date, sight unseen. Even today, if someone were to meet randomly, in a grocery store or out at a bar, they might exchange phone numbers, which theoretically could lead to a date with a virtual stranger.
In the world of online dating, the etiquette is, surprisingly, a little different. For a medium that prides itself on cutting out the wasted time of hanging out at a bar or pursuing uninterested individuals, there's actually typically a little extra time spent emailing before a first meeting. Sure, there are people who still meet right away, though dating sites or using online personals, but in general, a first-contact email through an online dating site should not include an invitation out for drinks.
There are a few potential reasons for this difference. One could be that those who were initially drawn to online dating were early adapters of all things Internet, and they were some of the first for whom emailing became a part of daily life – and thus an acceptable substitute for in-person interaction.
Another possible reason could be that the etiquette of a few emails before a first date reflects society's wariness of online dating in general – we've developed a few extra safeguards to reassure ourselves. Or perhaps it's the wave of dating future – with so many people on this planet we feel we need to take our time before placing ourselves bodily anywhere, and email, texting and social sites have become the norm.
Whatever the reasons, it is true that finding a match online is slightly different than finding a date in the real world. So if you're sending out a first-contact email proposing a date and you're not sure why you're getting the cold shoulder, that could be your answer. Don't think of a first email as asking someone on a date; think of it as bumping into them and saying hi. Then, if things are going well after a few emails, you might consider meeting up. It might not be as fast as simply asking out a pretty face, but hopefully it has more potential for success.
In the world of online dating, the etiquette is, surprisingly, a little different. For a medium that prides itself on cutting out the wasted time of hanging out at a bar or pursuing uninterested individuals, there's actually typically a little extra time spent emailing before a first meeting. Sure, there are people who still meet right away, though dating sites or using online personals, but in general, a first-contact email through an online dating site should not include an invitation out for drinks.
There are a few potential reasons for this difference. One could be that those who were initially drawn to online dating were early adapters of all things Internet, and they were some of the first for whom emailing became a part of daily life – and thus an acceptable substitute for in-person interaction.
Another possible reason could be that the etiquette of a few emails before a first date reflects society's wariness of online dating in general – we've developed a few extra safeguards to reassure ourselves. Or perhaps it's the wave of dating future – with so many people on this planet we feel we need to take our time before placing ourselves bodily anywhere, and email, texting and social sites have become the norm.
Whatever the reasons, it is true that finding a match online is slightly different than finding a date in the real world. So if you're sending out a first-contact email proposing a date and you're not sure why you're getting the cold shoulder, that could be your answer. Don't think of a first email as asking someone on a date; think of it as bumping into them and saying hi. Then, if things are going well after a few emails, you might consider meeting up. It might not be as fast as simply asking out a pretty face, but hopefully it has more potential for success.
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