Seeking Out an Opposite
- Tuesday, June 19 2012 @ 09:36 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,117
Ah, online dating. A world of possibility - but sometimes all that possibility can be daunting. When confronted with your very first custom search, a question as old as love itself might flit through your mind: “Should I look for someone like me, or do opposites really attract?” As with all things romance, the answer might be more complicated than you expect.
First and foremost, every person is unique; thus, it’s no surprise that we get along with people for different reasons. Think about the range of relationships you’ve already experienced - and not just romantic ones. Perhaps you’ve got a co-worker with a different skill set, and you bring the best out in each other. Maybe you have a childhood friend and you’re quite different people now, but you first became friends due to some common interest. Maybe you’re friends with someone because you hail from the same hometown, and you’re bound solely by those shared experiences.
Because you probably have a variety of compatibility types, perhaps it’s best to “sample the menu,” as they say, and see what fits best for you. You’re not bound to one custom search; try everything from searching for very specific common interests, like a love of pinball machines, to emailing someone completely out of your box. What do you have to lose?
A note of caution, however: it is true that you can find someone with complementary traits instead of ones that are exactly the same as yours, and have a happy, successful relationship. However, make sure you know that when you’re dealing in opposites, there’s a difference between “complementary” and “antagonistic.” TV shows and movies just love a romantic story where the two main characters start out hating each other. While it makes for good tension and drama, there’s usually some event that brings our star-crossed lovers together, or perhaps they come to love each other over a long period of time. Not to mention: it’s fiction. If you’re not looking to develop a relationship over years, you might be best to find someone who doesn’t set your teeth on edge immediately.
Remember that with online dating you’re just utilizing a tool to meet someone, so don’t feel like you have to fall in love with a profile to give an email a chance. Who knows? Just as we have friends for a variety of reasons, you might find love in someone entirely unexpected.
First and foremost, every person is unique; thus, it’s no surprise that we get along with people for different reasons. Think about the range of relationships you’ve already experienced - and not just romantic ones. Perhaps you’ve got a co-worker with a different skill set, and you bring the best out in each other. Maybe you have a childhood friend and you’re quite different people now, but you first became friends due to some common interest. Maybe you’re friends with someone because you hail from the same hometown, and you’re bound solely by those shared experiences.
Because you probably have a variety of compatibility types, perhaps it’s best to “sample the menu,” as they say, and see what fits best for you. You’re not bound to one custom search; try everything from searching for very specific common interests, like a love of pinball machines, to emailing someone completely out of your box. What do you have to lose?
A note of caution, however: it is true that you can find someone with complementary traits instead of ones that are exactly the same as yours, and have a happy, successful relationship. However, make sure you know that when you’re dealing in opposites, there’s a difference between “complementary” and “antagonistic.” TV shows and movies just love a romantic story where the two main characters start out hating each other. While it makes for good tension and drama, there’s usually some event that brings our star-crossed lovers together, or perhaps they come to love each other over a long period of time. Not to mention: it’s fiction. If you’re not looking to develop a relationship over years, you might be best to find someone who doesn’t set your teeth on edge immediately.
Remember that with online dating you’re just utilizing a tool to meet someone, so don’t feel like you have to fall in love with a profile to give an email a chance. Who knows? Just as we have friends for a variety of reasons, you might find love in someone entirely unexpected.
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