Recognizing a Happy Ending
- Thursday, November 17 2011 @ 01:12 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,166
So you’ve met someone, and you’re beginning to wonder if this person is The One for you. The problem is, you’ve obviously never met The One before, so how do you know when you’ve found them? Turning to fiction, or even the recollection of people you know, gives a slew of metaphors - metaphors that can even contradict each other. Is it fireworks or a slow burn? Magic or the most organic, natural thing of all? A new adventure or coming home?
Most people will probably conclude they’re in love, or that their significant other is the one for them, on their own. However, not everyone is big on gut instinct or sure of their own decisions, especially if they’ve had bad experiences in the past. Thus, here are a few questions to ask yourself when you’re feeling uncertain:
First, how do you express love and affection? Some are outwardly affectionate; the term “PDA” seems to have been invented just for them. Some people show their love through less obvious ways, like working on homemade projects for weeks. Many people have a “personality” when it comes to love; figuring out the type of person you are might give you a clue into your own feelings. Are you the “type” to be looking for fireworks, or is it more likely that the warm glow you’re experiencing is your own version of love?
Then, in general, ask yourself: when it comes to your relationship, are you happy? Don’t think about external stressors, like the fact that your jobs make it difficult to meet up or that you’re not a fan of their family. When you think of your significant other, and being together, are you happy? Do you want to be around them more?
Finally, when you ask yourself if this person is The One, what answer are you looking for? Are you feeling uncertain because you’re just the sort of person who likes external confirmation, or are you looking for an excuse to get out? And if you are looking for an excuse to call things off, is it because you’re really not happy, or some other reason, like a fear of commitment?
These aren’t easy questions to answer, and the answers still lie in that nebulous space that’s equal parts heart, brain and gut. However, hopefully the questions help point you in a more specific direction than whether you’ve found True Love. Even if you’re sure of your answers, don’t be alarmed if you still feel nervous - or even if you don’t. Your life, your story is your own! Why should you react exactly the same way someone else has?
Most people will probably conclude they’re in love, or that their significant other is the one for them, on their own. However, not everyone is big on gut instinct or sure of their own decisions, especially if they’ve had bad experiences in the past. Thus, here are a few questions to ask yourself when you’re feeling uncertain:
First, how do you express love and affection? Some are outwardly affectionate; the term “PDA” seems to have been invented just for them. Some people show their love through less obvious ways, like working on homemade projects for weeks. Many people have a “personality” when it comes to love; figuring out the type of person you are might give you a clue into your own feelings. Are you the “type” to be looking for fireworks, or is it more likely that the warm glow you’re experiencing is your own version of love?
Then, in general, ask yourself: when it comes to your relationship, are you happy? Don’t think about external stressors, like the fact that your jobs make it difficult to meet up or that you’re not a fan of their family. When you think of your significant other, and being together, are you happy? Do you want to be around them more?
Finally, when you ask yourself if this person is The One, what answer are you looking for? Are you feeling uncertain because you’re just the sort of person who likes external confirmation, or are you looking for an excuse to get out? And if you are looking for an excuse to call things off, is it because you’re really not happy, or some other reason, like a fear of commitment?
These aren’t easy questions to answer, and the answers still lie in that nebulous space that’s equal parts heart, brain and gut. However, hopefully the questions help point you in a more specific direction than whether you’ve found True Love. Even if you’re sure of your answers, don’t be alarmed if you still feel nervous - or even if you don’t. Your life, your story is your own! Why should you react exactly the same way someone else has?
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