Really Ready?
- Thursday, November 10 2011 @ 08:02 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,350
You’ve taken stock, and you think you’re set to begin online dating. You’ve got a good profile that you’ve edited more than once; you have a few pictures of you that show you genuinely having a good time. You’re not afraid to email people, and you’re fairly confident that you express yourself better in writing, anyway. You’re good to go - or so you think.
You see, there’s one element that often gets forgotten or glossed over when we’re about to enter the dating world - whether we’re emotionally ready to do so in the first place.
If you were to contemplate adopting an animal, those around you would probably ask a ton of questions. Are you ready to make that sort of commitment? To adjust your life around someone who depends on you? Is your lifestyle stable enough? Are you sure this isn’t a snap decision?
Obviously, dating isn’t the same as adopting a pet - you’re looking to meet an equal, another human being with their own needs, desires, and independence. Still, some of the same questions apply. For example, do you actually have time for dating? If you’re currently having to schedule time just to eat, you’ll probably have to make some compromises if you want to include a new person in your life. Are you prepared for that commitment?
What about if you’ve just gotten out of a relationship? Often people are pressured into “rebound” dating by family and friends. The pressure doesn’t come from a negative place; typically those you love just want to see you happy. Still, attempting dating before you’re really ready is ultimately a waste of time. Whether or not you’re actually going on dates, you might be casting an eye tainted by cynicism on the profiles of great potential matches. Do you really want to find the right person when you’re at your personal worst?
That being said, sometimes we’re more ready to get in the dating saddle than we want to believe. And maybe dipping a toe in the dating pool isn’t a bad idea, just to see how it goes. You might be ready for the potential changes in your day-to-day life, and capable of handling any emotions that might be stirred up, but held back by fear itself. Only you can truly assess if you’re ready to begin dating; only you can decide whether you’re being pressured, or getting a much-needed nudge. The combination to aim for is honesty and bravery; who knows? Maybe you’ll surprise yourself.
You see, there’s one element that often gets forgotten or glossed over when we’re about to enter the dating world - whether we’re emotionally ready to do so in the first place.
If you were to contemplate adopting an animal, those around you would probably ask a ton of questions. Are you ready to make that sort of commitment? To adjust your life around someone who depends on you? Is your lifestyle stable enough? Are you sure this isn’t a snap decision?
Obviously, dating isn’t the same as adopting a pet - you’re looking to meet an equal, another human being with their own needs, desires, and independence. Still, some of the same questions apply. For example, do you actually have time for dating? If you’re currently having to schedule time just to eat, you’ll probably have to make some compromises if you want to include a new person in your life. Are you prepared for that commitment?
What about if you’ve just gotten out of a relationship? Often people are pressured into “rebound” dating by family and friends. The pressure doesn’t come from a negative place; typically those you love just want to see you happy. Still, attempting dating before you’re really ready is ultimately a waste of time. Whether or not you’re actually going on dates, you might be casting an eye tainted by cynicism on the profiles of great potential matches. Do you really want to find the right person when you’re at your personal worst?
That being said, sometimes we’re more ready to get in the dating saddle than we want to believe. And maybe dipping a toe in the dating pool isn’t a bad idea, just to see how it goes. You might be ready for the potential changes in your day-to-day life, and capable of handling any emotions that might be stirred up, but held back by fear itself. Only you can truly assess if you’re ready to begin dating; only you can decide whether you’re being pressured, or getting a much-needed nudge. The combination to aim for is honesty and bravery; who knows? Maybe you’ll surprise yourself.
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