Really Into Your New Guy? Take a Step Back.

There's something to be said for the age-old relationship advice "take it slow." After all, you don't want to put your heart on the line for a relationship that doesn't have any legs.

When you first meet someone and you find him incredibly compelling and attractive, or you have amazing chemistry, it's hard not to fantasize and get excited about where the relationship will go. After all, chemistry doesn't happen often.

Just because the two of you have good chemistry or find each other very attractive doesn't mean that you go fast forward into a new relationship. Actually, I recommend the opposite - what may sound counter-intuitive to you - to go slow.

While chemistry is important, keep in mind that this is a person you don't know. While you may share a few intimate details with each other on a first date, you hardly know anything about him - how well he communicates in a relationship, what his day typically looks like, how he interacts with his friends and family, and how he treats people in everyday life. All of these things aren't questions to be asked, but observations to make over time.

Also, you don't know if you're both looking for the same thing when it comes to a relationship. Ever had the experience of a fabulous first date, envisioning your relationship progressing to romantic weekends together and taking him to meet your family? Were you expecting to see him a couple of days later, and then suddenly he disappears, with no text or call? This can happen for a lot of reasons - perhaps he wasn't looking for a relationship, or maybe his perception of the evening was a little different than yours, or maybe he met someone else.

It's a waste of energy to try and figure out what went wrong. It's best to move on, and to take a different action the next time. Instead of allowing your mind and heart to jump ahead to your future relationship, concentrate on the present.

When you're embarking on a new relationship, it's important to keep your own life moving forward. Keep dating other people, make plans with your friends, and see how the relationship progresses. Set boundaries for yourself and stick to them. Get to know him in different settings, including with your friends (who can be objective observers). Don't share all the intimate details of your life or skeletons in your closet with him right away - leave some mystery.

Most importantly, stay in the present instead of fantasizing about what your future relationship will look like. It will allow you to see and understand more, and truly know if he's right for you.