Pursuing a Long Shot
- Saturday, April 14 2012 @ 07:43 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,598
Let’s say you’ve found the profile of someone who really piques your interest. They seem to have a lot of common interests, they’re attractive, and you think you might have compatible personalities. The only problem: you don’t fit what they’re looking for. Maybe you’re older than their preferred age range, or you live further away than they’d like. Maybe you smoke. What do you do now?
Well, first try to gauge how emphatic they really are. Are these just arbitrary limits in a chart they had to fill out? If so, maybe they’re not dead-set on finding someone who fits those specifications precisely. Many people just fill in something quickly without thinking too deeply about it - an age range within five years, a random height, and so on. However, if they mention something specifically in their self-summary - say, “Absolutely no people of this political party” - they really mean it.
If it seems that there might be some wiggle room, or you just can’t tell, it can’t hurt to send an email and find out. The worst they can do is say that they aren’t interested; if you don’t take a chance at all, you’ll certainly never have a chance with them. And if they’re willing to look outside of their personal box, the reward may be well worth the risk.
However, the important thing to remember is that if you’re going to send that email, make sure you acknowledge that you don’t quite fit the mold. I’ve heard complaints from countless people who say, “I clearly stated that I was a vegetarian, so why was ‘BBQPete’ sending me an email? Can’t he read?” Explain that you were so intrigued by their profile, you thought you’d take a shot anyway - and then talk about what you do have in common, so the focus remains on something positive.
In theory, the internet provides access to a vast pool of singles. Sure, there are other fish in the sea - but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t attempt a rare catch.
Well, first try to gauge how emphatic they really are. Are these just arbitrary limits in a chart they had to fill out? If so, maybe they’re not dead-set on finding someone who fits those specifications precisely. Many people just fill in something quickly without thinking too deeply about it - an age range within five years, a random height, and so on. However, if they mention something specifically in their self-summary - say, “Absolutely no people of this political party” - they really mean it.
If it seems that there might be some wiggle room, or you just can’t tell, it can’t hurt to send an email and find out. The worst they can do is say that they aren’t interested; if you don’t take a chance at all, you’ll certainly never have a chance with them. And if they’re willing to look outside of their personal box, the reward may be well worth the risk.
However, the important thing to remember is that if you’re going to send that email, make sure you acknowledge that you don’t quite fit the mold. I’ve heard complaints from countless people who say, “I clearly stated that I was a vegetarian, so why was ‘BBQPete’ sending me an email? Can’t he read?” Explain that you were so intrigued by their profile, you thought you’d take a shot anyway - and then talk about what you do have in common, so the focus remains on something positive.
In theory, the internet provides access to a vast pool of singles. Sure, there are other fish in the sea - but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t attempt a rare catch.
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