Proactive Searching
- Thursday, January 03 2013 @ 09:06 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,173
You’ve probably already learned that one should be proactive when it comes to online dating. Rather than waiting for the emails, winks, and communication to come from others, people are most successful when they reach out as well. However, there’s another area in which being proactive can really help: during the search process.
See, when it comes to looking at profiles, many actually choose to sit back and only peruse profiles recommended to them by the online dating site. They figure these sites have ways of figuring these things out, so they must know best. However, custom searches - or even just general browsing - can produce results of equal or greater value.
For example, your site might already attempt to match up common interests, but what about common values or personality traits? Perhaps it’s particularly important to you that you find someone kind. Well, that’s a nebulous quality, and a very specific word. What makes someone kind? And would they even describe themselves in that way?
So here’s where you get imaginative. Break out the thesaurus. Think about what images come to mind - charity work? Volunteering? A fondness for pets? Do some shot-in-the-dark searching, and really read the profiles you find - sometimes you can read more between the lines than you’d expect, and maybe even get a more accurate measure of the person than what they say about themselves.
Remember to keep an open mind. Maybe some specific image or quality has gotten you started on that path, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find someone amazing in a different way on your journey. Bookmark and take down names of people you’d like to look at more closely later - when you check out many profiles at once, they can blend together. Remember: you’ve got a vague idea in mind of who you’d like to find, but you honestly don’t know who your end goal is. Be prepared to branch out; after all, one of the benefits of online dating is that it can get you out of your typical social box.
Finally, remember that you’re looking to fall in love with a person, not a profile. Don’t place all your eggs in one basket, and remember that the in-person date is where the question of compatibility really starts to clear up. So bear in mind that any search is just a starting point. A search is about uncovering possibilities; doesn’t it make sense, then, that you’d want to be proactive with your searches and find as many options as possible?
See, when it comes to looking at profiles, many actually choose to sit back and only peruse profiles recommended to them by the online dating site. They figure these sites have ways of figuring these things out, so they must know best. However, custom searches - or even just general browsing - can produce results of equal or greater value.
For example, your site might already attempt to match up common interests, but what about common values or personality traits? Perhaps it’s particularly important to you that you find someone kind. Well, that’s a nebulous quality, and a very specific word. What makes someone kind? And would they even describe themselves in that way?
So here’s where you get imaginative. Break out the thesaurus. Think about what images come to mind - charity work? Volunteering? A fondness for pets? Do some shot-in-the-dark searching, and really read the profiles you find - sometimes you can read more between the lines than you’d expect, and maybe even get a more accurate measure of the person than what they say about themselves.
Remember to keep an open mind. Maybe some specific image or quality has gotten you started on that path, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find someone amazing in a different way on your journey. Bookmark and take down names of people you’d like to look at more closely later - when you check out many profiles at once, they can blend together. Remember: you’ve got a vague idea in mind of who you’d like to find, but you honestly don’t know who your end goal is. Be prepared to branch out; after all, one of the benefits of online dating is that it can get you out of your typical social box.
Finally, remember that you’re looking to fall in love with a person, not a profile. Don’t place all your eggs in one basket, and remember that the in-person date is where the question of compatibility really starts to clear up. So bear in mind that any search is just a starting point. A search is about uncovering possibilities; doesn’t it make sense, then, that you’d want to be proactive with your searches and find as many options as possible?
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