Playground Wisdom
- Sunday, July 17 2011 @ 01:20 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,495
Back in the days when we hung out on playgrounds, most people probably heard this phrase at some point: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” In the world of online dating, this old adage still holds value, and in more than one area.
First, there’s the most obvious application: the rejection email. While usually the focus is on sending out first-contact emails yourself, both men and women do receive their own first-contact emails from time to time. And not every first-contact email you receive will be from someone you’re interested in. Thus, the responsibility falls on you to reject them - and do it gracefully. Re-read your rejection email before you send it. If you absolutely can’t manage to avoid insults or harsh words... well, no one likes it when they get no response at all, but it could be worse.
But thinking about “something nice” to say actually comes into play long before the first email is ever sent; instead, it should be considered when you’re constructing your online profile in the first place. Many of the dating websites have long forms with endless questions, and encourage you to answer as many as possible. If you follow the encouragement of the dating site, it’s quite easy to wind up with a profile that is bloated, long-winded, and boring.
Answer every single question, if you wish, while you’re still in the editing stage. Then go back with a critical eye. Ask yourself, “Am I saying anything that’s particularly interesting or funny?” If you’re not, strike it from the profile. Sure, you may wind up with a profile that’s considerably shorter - but now you have a profile that’s easy to read and gives the reader an immediate impression of your personality, instead of the “filler” questions that make everyone sound the same.
More than one bit of playground wisdom has proven useful in dating, and indeed, in life. Keeping this old saying in mind as you construct your online profile - and, later, as you interact with potential matches - just might help you present the best sides of yourself.
First, there’s the most obvious application: the rejection email. While usually the focus is on sending out first-contact emails yourself, both men and women do receive their own first-contact emails from time to time. And not every first-contact email you receive will be from someone you’re interested in. Thus, the responsibility falls on you to reject them - and do it gracefully. Re-read your rejection email before you send it. If you absolutely can’t manage to avoid insults or harsh words... well, no one likes it when they get no response at all, but it could be worse.
But thinking about “something nice” to say actually comes into play long before the first email is ever sent; instead, it should be considered when you’re constructing your online profile in the first place. Many of the dating websites have long forms with endless questions, and encourage you to answer as many as possible. If you follow the encouragement of the dating site, it’s quite easy to wind up with a profile that is bloated, long-winded, and boring.
Answer every single question, if you wish, while you’re still in the editing stage. Then go back with a critical eye. Ask yourself, “Am I saying anything that’s particularly interesting or funny?” If you’re not, strike it from the profile. Sure, you may wind up with a profile that’s considerably shorter - but now you have a profile that’s easy to read and gives the reader an immediate impression of your personality, instead of the “filler” questions that make everyone sound the same.
More than one bit of playground wisdom has proven useful in dating, and indeed, in life. Keeping this old saying in mind as you construct your online profile - and, later, as you interact with potential matches - just might help you present the best sides of yourself.
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