Online Love, the New Way
- Wednesday, July 04 2012 @ 08:49 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,109
Tell someone you’re looking into online dating and they’ll often have an anecdote to tell, either positive or negative. The Internet has become such a pervasive, integral part of our lives that almost everyone knows someone whose personal love story involves it. But here’s the thing: most of the “Internet-related” tales you’ll hear have almost nothing to do with the process of online dating.
It’s not uncommon to hear something like, “I know someone who fell in love with a girl he met in a video game. He left his wife and three kids and moved to Hawaii to be with someone he’d never met!” or “Did you hear about Sally? She met a guy in one of those early chat rooms. He moved from New Zealand to be with her, having only seen a picture, and they’ve been married for fifteen years!” Both of these stories - and most of the ones you hear - involve tales of people who literally “fell in love” without having met each other. This is what people tend to think of when they think of online dating.
While it’s true that a well-written profile or a smoking picture can turn your head, it’s certainly not the foundation for love. Even people who seem to hit it off via email can rub each other the wrong way when they finally meet in person - or maybe they get along just fine, but there’s no romantic spark. What online dating can do is raise the chances that you’ve found a viable match - someone whose behavior is not immediately offensive or who shares common interests - but the real moment of truth occurs when you meet in person.
This has always been true, even for those early-Internet tales of people who “fell in love” without meeting. They still had to meet - and once they did, those relationships didn’t always work out. In fact, that’s probably why using the Internet to find love is still viewed with cynicism today - people were carried away with the idea of meeting new people through new technology, and didn’t really think things through. Now, however, we know that the chemistry factor is simply something that must work, and must work in person.
So if you bring up online dating and are faced with someone who either thinks it’s a bad idea or something epic that only happens in romance novels, let them know gently that times have changed. Online dating is no different than going to a place you know is brimming with singles; however, it’s lower stress, you can actually find someone who shares your interests, and you’re not forced to make small talk with anyone you don’t want to. It’s a smart choice, but not particularly bold or strange.
It’s not uncommon to hear something like, “I know someone who fell in love with a girl he met in a video game. He left his wife and three kids and moved to Hawaii to be with someone he’d never met!” or “Did you hear about Sally? She met a guy in one of those early chat rooms. He moved from New Zealand to be with her, having only seen a picture, and they’ve been married for fifteen years!” Both of these stories - and most of the ones you hear - involve tales of people who literally “fell in love” without having met each other. This is what people tend to think of when they think of online dating.
While it’s true that a well-written profile or a smoking picture can turn your head, it’s certainly not the foundation for love. Even people who seem to hit it off via email can rub each other the wrong way when they finally meet in person - or maybe they get along just fine, but there’s no romantic spark. What online dating can do is raise the chances that you’ve found a viable match - someone whose behavior is not immediately offensive or who shares common interests - but the real moment of truth occurs when you meet in person.
This has always been true, even for those early-Internet tales of people who “fell in love” without meeting. They still had to meet - and once they did, those relationships didn’t always work out. In fact, that’s probably why using the Internet to find love is still viewed with cynicism today - people were carried away with the idea of meeting new people through new technology, and didn’t really think things through. Now, however, we know that the chemistry factor is simply something that must work, and must work in person.
So if you bring up online dating and are faced with someone who either thinks it’s a bad idea or something epic that only happens in romance novels, let them know gently that times have changed. Online dating is no different than going to a place you know is brimming with singles; however, it’s lower stress, you can actually find someone who shares your interests, and you’re not forced to make small talk with anyone you don’t want to. It’s a smart choice, but not particularly bold or strange.
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