One Rule to Start a Relationship Right
- Wednesday, June 13 2012 @ 09:24 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,116
For most of us, our romance goals are two-fold. Not only do we want to be in a relationship; we want to be in a successful relationship. One might think those automatically come in a package deal, but not always so! Some have no difficulty meeting someone new; it’s just that they’re not the right person for them in the long term. So if we want a successful relationship, what’s one thing we can do, early and often, to get us on the right track?
Simply put: stop playing games. Even better: never fall into the habit. When we use online dating sites it can be easy to slip into thinking of our potential matches as mere numbers, faces without an actual person behind them. While this is helpful in one sense - we don’t get too caught up in fantasizing about someone we haven’t even dated - it’s imperative that the switch is flipped back once we start emailing back and forth.
Have ideas about playing “hard to get” or “asserting your Alpha status”? Discard them. At the end of the day, you’re not asserting your dominance in some lion pack in the savannah, or trying to snare a rabbit; you’re looking for a best friend, a companion with whom you also share a romantic spark. Playing games is by its very nature adversarial - completely the opposite of the type of relationship you’re trying to establish.
Above all else, remember: don’t worry about “rules” when it comes to you as a couple. There’s no magic span of time that one must be dating before they get “serious.” You don’t need to wait a certain number of days to call after the first date (and honestly, I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t view anything beyond one day a Bad Sign). There are people who get married two weeks after meeting and then divorced less than a year later, and there are those who made a commitment just as fast and stayed together for the rest of their lives. Everyone’s different.
Putting aside rules and games and focusing on an honest, open relationship starts you off on the right foot, and hopefully establishes good habits that will carry you forward into the future. Life isn’t as dramatic or by-the-numbers as a TV show or romantic comedy - but it can be a lot more fulfilling and fun.
Simply put: stop playing games. Even better: never fall into the habit. When we use online dating sites it can be easy to slip into thinking of our potential matches as mere numbers, faces without an actual person behind them. While this is helpful in one sense - we don’t get too caught up in fantasizing about someone we haven’t even dated - it’s imperative that the switch is flipped back once we start emailing back and forth.
Have ideas about playing “hard to get” or “asserting your Alpha status”? Discard them. At the end of the day, you’re not asserting your dominance in some lion pack in the savannah, or trying to snare a rabbit; you’re looking for a best friend, a companion with whom you also share a romantic spark. Playing games is by its very nature adversarial - completely the opposite of the type of relationship you’re trying to establish.
Above all else, remember: don’t worry about “rules” when it comes to you as a couple. There’s no magic span of time that one must be dating before they get “serious.” You don’t need to wait a certain number of days to call after the first date (and honestly, I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t view anything beyond one day a Bad Sign). There are people who get married two weeks after meeting and then divorced less than a year later, and there are those who made a commitment just as fast and stayed together for the rest of their lives. Everyone’s different.
Putting aside rules and games and focusing on an honest, open relationship starts you off on the right foot, and hopefully establishes good habits that will carry you forward into the future. Life isn’t as dramatic or by-the-numbers as a TV show or romantic comedy - but it can be a lot more fulfilling and fun.
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