Not Always Like This
- Thursday, March 28 2013 @ 09:17 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 878
I sit across the table from my favorite couple, Kate and Alex. They’ve known each other for over a decade, and been together nearly that long. They seem to be able to read each other’s mind, and I mention it. They glance at one another.
“I don’t think it’s that we can read each other’s minds,” Kate says. “It’s more that we almost think the same way. We had similar experiences growing up, and then since we’ve been together we’ve seen almost all the same movies and television. We’ve told each other the same stories about our childhoods. We’ve experienced life together. So sometimes we come to the same conclusions - separately, but at the same time. He’ll make a joke I was about to say.”
“So it’s pretty surprising when you consider that for the first few years we were dating, Kate felt like I was some sort of alien,” Alex says, smiling.
“Oh, it’s true!” says Katie. “We had a spark right away, and common interests, but it certainly didn’t feel like I was talking to someone who even thought in the same language I did. How he handled arguments, approached problems, even cleaned the house was completely unlike anyone I’d ever encountered. And he thought I was just as weird. Sometimes we’re still reminded that we approach situations very differently.”
“So what changed? How did you stay together?” I ask.
Alex shrugged. “Sometimes I wasn’t sure we would. Our relationship has always seemed kind of easy compared to some, but when I really think back and remember, we were constantly learning, adapting, adjusting. Communication is huge. And mutual respect - to understand that your way isn’t always the best way, that the other person might be stronger in certain areas.”
Kate nods. “So many people think that finding their ‘match’ means that they instantly become - well, like this,” she says, gesturing at herself and her partner. “But we weren’t like this at the beginning - and some days we still aren’t. We just took our relationship one day at a time like everyone else. And we’re not perfect, but now we’re pretty familiar with our strengths and weaknesses, and we’ve chosen to stick together.”
Alex nods. “Maybe that’s why some relationships seem easier over time. Not even so much understanding as familiarity,” he says. “We still don’t think the same way - but I know her well enough to know how she does think, regardless.”
“I don’t think it’s that we can read each other’s minds,” Kate says. “It’s more that we almost think the same way. We had similar experiences growing up, and then since we’ve been together we’ve seen almost all the same movies and television. We’ve told each other the same stories about our childhoods. We’ve experienced life together. So sometimes we come to the same conclusions - separately, but at the same time. He’ll make a joke I was about to say.”
“So it’s pretty surprising when you consider that for the first few years we were dating, Kate felt like I was some sort of alien,” Alex says, smiling.
“Oh, it’s true!” says Katie. “We had a spark right away, and common interests, but it certainly didn’t feel like I was talking to someone who even thought in the same language I did. How he handled arguments, approached problems, even cleaned the house was completely unlike anyone I’d ever encountered. And he thought I was just as weird. Sometimes we’re still reminded that we approach situations very differently.”
“So what changed? How did you stay together?” I ask.
Alex shrugged. “Sometimes I wasn’t sure we would. Our relationship has always seemed kind of easy compared to some, but when I really think back and remember, we were constantly learning, adapting, adjusting. Communication is huge. And mutual respect - to understand that your way isn’t always the best way, that the other person might be stronger in certain areas.”
Kate nods. “So many people think that finding their ‘match’ means that they instantly become - well, like this,” she says, gesturing at herself and her partner. “But we weren’t like this at the beginning - and some days we still aren’t. We just took our relationship one day at a time like everyone else. And we’re not perfect, but now we’re pretty familiar with our strengths and weaknesses, and we’ve chosen to stick together.”
Alex nods. “Maybe that’s why some relationships seem easier over time. Not even so much understanding as familiarity,” he says. “We still don’t think the same way - but I know her well enough to know how she does think, regardless.”
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