Navigating a Long-Distance Relationship
- Sunday, July 08 2012 @ 07:38 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,327
With online dating websites, and the internet in general, it’s increasingly easy to find someone with whom you share chemistry, interests - everything but the same zip code. What to do if your most likely match is decidedly long-distance?
First, do everything you can to avoid putting yourself in that sticky situation. Before you go ahead with a ‘fantasy’ search that’s nationwide, make sure there’s not someone you’re interested in who’s a little closer to home. Sometimes a person looks better because some part of you knows it’s just a fantasy - you don’t think you’ll ever be together, so you feel more free to fill in a best-case scenario. Don’t forget that you’re looking for a partner, not just a fantasy.
But sometimes these things just happen - you strike up a friendship on a forum or some other social media network and suddenly you’re feeling more. If you think the feeling is mutual, remember one thing, first and foremost: you have to meet in person before you even entertain thoughts of love. No matter how much verbal chemistry you have, it just might not be the same in person.
Now let’s assume you’ve met in person and the chemistry is insane. Consider a few points: first, is there any hope for this relationship? Are the two of you married to your jobs, with no hope of relocating? Do you have responsibilities which mean you won’t be together in the foreseeable future, if ever? If that’s the case, you might consider ending the relationship before it begins and brings pain. Chemistry is great, but there are other people with whom you’ll share it.
Long-distance relationships are possible, but only if there’s an end game where you’re together in sight. It’s possible to be apart for a little while - and even then it can be harder than usual, with double the paranoia and trust issues - but it’s a means to an end, not an ultimate goal. And it often means taking a big gamble - moving somewhere before you’ve dated as much as other couples, for example. That doesn’t mean things won’t work out - but going into a long-distance relationship with a cool head and your eyes open may save yourself heartache in the long run.
First, do everything you can to avoid putting yourself in that sticky situation. Before you go ahead with a ‘fantasy’ search that’s nationwide, make sure there’s not someone you’re interested in who’s a little closer to home. Sometimes a person looks better because some part of you knows it’s just a fantasy - you don’t think you’ll ever be together, so you feel more free to fill in a best-case scenario. Don’t forget that you’re looking for a partner, not just a fantasy.
But sometimes these things just happen - you strike up a friendship on a forum or some other social media network and suddenly you’re feeling more. If you think the feeling is mutual, remember one thing, first and foremost: you have to meet in person before you even entertain thoughts of love. No matter how much verbal chemistry you have, it just might not be the same in person.
Now let’s assume you’ve met in person and the chemistry is insane. Consider a few points: first, is there any hope for this relationship? Are the two of you married to your jobs, with no hope of relocating? Do you have responsibilities which mean you won’t be together in the foreseeable future, if ever? If that’s the case, you might consider ending the relationship before it begins and brings pain. Chemistry is great, but there are other people with whom you’ll share it.
Long-distance relationships are possible, but only if there’s an end game where you’re together in sight. It’s possible to be apart for a little while - and even then it can be harder than usual, with double the paranoia and trust issues - but it’s a means to an end, not an ultimate goal. And it often means taking a big gamble - moving somewhere before you’ve dated as much as other couples, for example. That doesn’t mean things won’t work out - but going into a long-distance relationship with a cool head and your eyes open may save yourself heartache in the long run.
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