My First Online Dating Lessons

- Tuesday, May 14 2013 @ 07:05 am
- Contributed by: ElyseRomano
- Views: 1,167
I was not an early adopter when it comes to online dating. I was one of the skeptics, guilty of thinking there was nothing online dating could do for me that I couldn't do for myself. "I like meeting people," I thought, "so why not just meet them in person? What is so special about online dating?"
Then I finally took the plunge. Everyone else was doing it, so why not me? I joined OkCupid and, instantly, I was hooked. Everything I'd read and heard about online dating suddenly made sense. I could almost hear an actual "click" as the pieces fell into place.
Seeing all the tips and tricks I'd been told over the years in action felt like finally becoming fluent in a foreign language. Suddenly there was a whole new world for me to explore, and I understood it! Every lesson I'd learned was helpful, but a few stood out right away:
- Spelling and grammar definitely do matter. Seeing a profile riddled with errors is an instant turn-off. The same goes for messages. Run a spellcheck program if you don't like reading over your writing yourself. Oh, and save the netspeak for your text messages. Pretty please. Kthnxbai.
- Yes, the picture is important. I rarely looked twice at profiles that didn't include at least one picture. In fact, even a single picture seemed odd - why not two or three? What is there to hide? And won't I find out anyway, when we eventually meet in person?
- One-word messages just don't cut it. Two-word messages don't work either. Has anyone ever gone on a date that began solely with a "Hi" or "Ur hot?" I doubt it. No one wants to read a novel-sized message, but it needs to be long enough to establish that you have actually read the profile.
- Don't be a downer. I can't tell you how many messages and profiles begin with "I'm really bad at writing these things" or "I'm here because I'm lonely." Those things may be true, but they aren't going to get your profile noticed. Focus on the good. Sell yourself the way a marketer would sell a product.
- It pays to be honest. Sure, you could lie to try to make yourself appealing to as many people as possible, but what's the point? The more you let your personality shine, the more you'll attract people you're actually compatible with. Don't be afraid to scare somebody off.
What other lessons does online dating have in store for me? I can't wait to find out...