Moving On Is Hard To Do
- Sunday, May 09 2010 @ 08:48 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,439
Occasionally, I hear complaints from friends. They say things like, “When I approached that girl, I couldn't have done anything better!” or “I sent this guy the perfect first email, and he never sent anything back.” They'll spend an extraordinary amount of time analyzing what they could have done differently, what they did wrong. It seems that the most difficult thing for some people to process is actually the simplest answer: that they couldn't have done anything better, and the ultimate verdict lies with the other person.
Losing control of any situation is hard. When it's our potential relationships, we want to have total control over the outcome. In some cases, being proactive actually makes it more difficult to let go: those people become all the more determined to “fix” their situation, thinking there's “something” they can do differently.
The truth is, any relationship – even a chance meeting – is comprised of two people, and those two people are of equal importance. Just as a bad day might screw up your mood or cause you to miss overtures from a stranger altogether, so it might dampen someone else's. Just as you are allowed to not be attracted to someone, so can they. Sometimes the chemistry just isn't there or the circumstances simply isn't right – and that's okay.
If you're improving your emailing skills, refining the way you approach people, you will see an overall improvement. But no one person is irresistible to everyone in the world, and you might not always hit it off. Maybe you need to approach more people to see that now your success rate is one in six instead of one in ten, or maybe there's still more work to be done. The important thing, however, is that you don't dwell on those times that don't work out. Letting go may be one of the hardest lessons, but it's the one that will allow you to move on to success.
Losing control of any situation is hard. When it's our potential relationships, we want to have total control over the outcome. In some cases, being proactive actually makes it more difficult to let go: those people become all the more determined to “fix” their situation, thinking there's “something” they can do differently.
The truth is, any relationship – even a chance meeting – is comprised of two people, and those two people are of equal importance. Just as a bad day might screw up your mood or cause you to miss overtures from a stranger altogether, so it might dampen someone else's. Just as you are allowed to not be attracted to someone, so can they. Sometimes the chemistry just isn't there or the circumstances simply isn't right – and that's okay.
If you're improving your emailing skills, refining the way you approach people, you will see an overall improvement. But no one person is irresistible to everyone in the world, and you might not always hit it off. Maybe you need to approach more people to see that now your success rate is one in six instead of one in ten, or maybe there's still more work to be done. The important thing, however, is that you don't dwell on those times that don't work out. Letting go may be one of the hardest lessons, but it's the one that will allow you to move on to success.
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