Making the First Move
- Tuesday, April 10 2012 @ 10:01 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,686
Brandon is a guy who was late to the online dating party. By the time he was single and available, friends of his had been utilizing online dating on and off for years. After seeing his friends, both male and female, line up dates and begin relationships thanks to online dating, he decided he’d give it a try, too. After a few months, though, he was feeling discouraged. “Everyone else seems to have no problem finding people, but I don’t get any emails or winks at all,” he complained.
Katy was having a similar problem. She was getting emails and winks all right - but sometimes she wasn’t even sure if they were from a human being. Typos, text-speak, and lewd comments abounded. “Why do I seem to attract exactly the wrong sort of people?” she wondered.
Katy and Brandon have exactly the same problem - they think that someone else needs to make the first move, and that what arrives (or doesn’t) in their inbox is indicative of their attractiveness or worth.
The truth is that online dating works best for those who are willing to make the first move - or email, as it were. Both Katy and Brandon are the shy type, unfortunately, and making the first move doesn’t come easily. “That’s why I wanted to try online dating in the first place!” said Brandon. “It’s hard for me to approach women and ask for their number.”
Well, for the shy, fear not - sending a first-contact email is more similar to saying hello. You’re not asking for a big commitment; you’re just letting them know that you’ve read their profile (and, intrigued, they’ll probably read yours, too). Ending a short-and-sweet email of only a few sentences with a question about their profile, such as, “I see you enjoy baking. Have you tried out that new cupcake shop?” provides an easy opening to a conversation.
Ultimately, online dating is a better choice for those that are shy - good first-contact emails are, by their very nature, low-pressure and you’re not left standing there awkwardly while they form a response. That being said, just because it’s wallflower-friendly doesn’t mean you get to kick back and let online dating sites find romance for you! A healthy dollop of diligence paired with a smidgen of bravery is the best way to stand out in the dating pool.
Katy was having a similar problem. She was getting emails and winks all right - but sometimes she wasn’t even sure if they were from a human being. Typos, text-speak, and lewd comments abounded. “Why do I seem to attract exactly the wrong sort of people?” she wondered.
Katy and Brandon have exactly the same problem - they think that someone else needs to make the first move, and that what arrives (or doesn’t) in their inbox is indicative of their attractiveness or worth.
The truth is that online dating works best for those who are willing to make the first move - or email, as it were. Both Katy and Brandon are the shy type, unfortunately, and making the first move doesn’t come easily. “That’s why I wanted to try online dating in the first place!” said Brandon. “It’s hard for me to approach women and ask for their number.”
Well, for the shy, fear not - sending a first-contact email is more similar to saying hello. You’re not asking for a big commitment; you’re just letting them know that you’ve read their profile (and, intrigued, they’ll probably read yours, too). Ending a short-and-sweet email of only a few sentences with a question about their profile, such as, “I see you enjoy baking. Have you tried out that new cupcake shop?” provides an easy opening to a conversation.
Ultimately, online dating is a better choice for those that are shy - good first-contact emails are, by their very nature, low-pressure and you’re not left standing there awkwardly while they form a response. That being said, just because it’s wallflower-friendly doesn’t mean you get to kick back and let online dating sites find romance for you! A healthy dollop of diligence paired with a smidgen of bravery is the best way to stand out in the dating pool.
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