Leaving Behind Tips and Tricks
- Wednesday, September 12 2012 @ 09:15 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,063
You might have heard the phrase “tips and tricks” used frequently when it comes to online dating, but the term can be a little misleading. You see, there are certainly many tips to try out, but there aren’t actually any magic “tricks” that will guarantee a match. And when you think about it, that might actually be a good thing.
When you start out, the dating scene can seem like a foreign land, with customs and language you thought you studied but which are vastly different in person. Online dating is probably one of the biggest “tips” to help make it more manageable, even modifying it to fit your personal schedule.
And when you first experience success or progress, whether it’s through online dating, an edit to your profile, or a tip about first-contact emails, you may well feel like you’ve performed a magic trick, or even that you’ve “pulled one over” on your date. “I’m just me, but here I am, more successful than ever,” you might think. And it’s fun to feel that way... for awhile.
At some point, though, it’s necessary to leave the concept of tricks behind. You may still follow a tip here and there, but with the strict understanding that you’re in a unique relationship of your own, and what works for some might not work for others. Most importantly, you have to have the confidence to believe you can be just as successful on your own.
After all, what would a relationship be like, long-term, if one half always felt like they were pulling the wool over their partner’s eyes? At the least, they might feel unequal, like they didn’t deserve to be in their own relationship. At the worst, they might feel satisfaction at “conning” their match, thinking of them more as an object or accessory than a partner and friend. Neither of these options bode well for long-term success and happiness.
So yes, tips can be quite helpful, especially when you’re just starting out. You may need to look at a situation from another perspective to get your foot in the door, and anything that helps you think outside your own box is generally helpful. Once you begin a relationship, however, it’s important to realize that it’s actually you who got yourself there, not some tip or trick. And that realization, that confidence to wing it on your own and use your own judgement, is one of the best things you can do to to ensure a stable, equal partnership.
When you start out, the dating scene can seem like a foreign land, with customs and language you thought you studied but which are vastly different in person. Online dating is probably one of the biggest “tips” to help make it more manageable, even modifying it to fit your personal schedule.
And when you first experience success or progress, whether it’s through online dating, an edit to your profile, or a tip about first-contact emails, you may well feel like you’ve performed a magic trick, or even that you’ve “pulled one over” on your date. “I’m just me, but here I am, more successful than ever,” you might think. And it’s fun to feel that way... for awhile.
At some point, though, it’s necessary to leave the concept of tricks behind. You may still follow a tip here and there, but with the strict understanding that you’re in a unique relationship of your own, and what works for some might not work for others. Most importantly, you have to have the confidence to believe you can be just as successful on your own.
After all, what would a relationship be like, long-term, if one half always felt like they were pulling the wool over their partner’s eyes? At the least, they might feel unequal, like they didn’t deserve to be in their own relationship. At the worst, they might feel satisfaction at “conning” their match, thinking of them more as an object or accessory than a partner and friend. Neither of these options bode well for long-term success and happiness.
So yes, tips can be quite helpful, especially when you’re just starting out. You may need to look at a situation from another perspective to get your foot in the door, and anything that helps you think outside your own box is generally helpful. Once you begin a relationship, however, it’s important to realize that it’s actually you who got yourself there, not some tip or trick. And that realization, that confidence to wing it on your own and use your own judgement, is one of the best things you can do to to ensure a stable, equal partnership.
Subscribe
