Is there privacy in online dating?

Privacy is a concern of many people venturing into the world of online dating. This is especially true for people with high profile careers. Is there a way to find love without sending the wrong message to the rest of the world? (And isn't it sad that our society mandates asking that question?)

Before becoming a writer, I taught high school. I was always worried about students, both current and former, finding my match.com profile and outing me to the world. It never happened. (I was also terrified of running into students at the local adult store, but luckily, that never happened either.)

There was a big hullabaloo in Charlotte, North Carolina last school year when several teachers were disciplined (and one fired) for material they published to their Facebook profiles. While Facebook offers certain privacy settings, by default, they are not on. It's up to you to control who sees your profile, and these teachers let it all hang out. The morality clause of the teaching contract was brought up and everyone scorned these individuals for their actions. Ironically, the things they were doing online weren't any more horrible than things people in other professions post to Facebook every day.

This doesn't make the teachers any less guilty. They knew of the morality clause and should have taken action to keep their profiles more private.

For most dating sites, your profile is visible to anyone with a free account. So what can you do if you want to ensure your profile is only seen by potential matches - not your business associates, not your clients, and certainly not your students (or their parents!).

Privacy Tips

Don't Date Online: That's the easiest one. Do things the old fashioned way or hire a private matchmaker or participate in a program like It's Just Lunch.

Don’t Post Your Photo:: At least you have a better chance of saying "That's not me" if there isn't a picture attached to your profile. You'll get fewer emails and have to be more proactive about contacting others, but at least you'll be a little more private.

Use A More Private Service: Matchmaking type online dating sites like eHarmony and the new RewardingLove, only show you matches that actually match you. There's no searching for profiles. This will keep you from being found by random coworkers or students, but doesn't eliminate the chance of an awkward encounter altogether. After all, your student's single father may match you perfectly!

Cover Yourself: Remember to keep your profile PG-rated at the worst. Unless you're using an adult dating service, there's no reason to get more risque in your profile. That's something that you can discuss with your partner once they are your partner!

Choose Your Site Wisely: Check your site's Privacy Policy (the link is usually in the footer). Some sites will hold on to your profile and use your profile text and pictures in the future. Ew, right? Sticking with the larger, more established sites will usually prevent this from happening.

Happy and safe dating, all.

For more information on the dating sites mentioned in this article, read our It's Just Lunch review, our Match.com review, and our eHarmony review.