Is There a Love Code to Crack?
- Saturday, January 14 2012 @ 08:02 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,652
For probably as long as there have been relationships, there’s been someone trying to “crack the code” of attraction. We can all think of old adages and wives‘ tales: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” “Playing hard-to-get is the way to go,” “Nice guys always come in last.” Nowadays one-size-fits-all advice pops up more frequently in the form of self-proclaimed love gurus and pick-up artists. But do we really need these tips and tricks? When should we leave them all behind?
For people who really have a hard time relating to others, it’s not a bad idea to learn a few techniques to get themselves started. Not all conversations come easily, and there’s nothing wrong with a little preparation, whether it’s practicing your smile in the mirror or looking up conversation topics before you head out on your date. Even if you typically have no problem holding a one-on-one conversation, things might look different when you’re full of nerves and hormones. A few tips to keep things running smoothly are practical and welcomed.
The problem comes when we view those we’re attracted to as another species. Most people have no problem forming friendships; why should romantic relationships be any different? When we say things like “Men like feeling strong,” or “Girls like attention,” we’re not only making vast generalizations, we’re dehumanizing them. When you think, “How do I talk to boys?” you’re not thinking, “How should I talk to this individual person?”
And let’s not forget: no matter what tips and tricks you use to attract the one you’re interested in, eventually you’ll have to figure out whether you’re really compatible when you’re just being yourselves. Why not save yourself some time and be genuine from the very beginning?
If you’re not used to dealing with people you’re attracted to, any idea can be worth trying out to help you overcome your nerves. When you’re ready for a real, long-term relationship, however, you’ll discover there are no “tricks” to finding love: it’s simply whether or not two individuals are the right fit.
For people who really have a hard time relating to others, it’s not a bad idea to learn a few techniques to get themselves started. Not all conversations come easily, and there’s nothing wrong with a little preparation, whether it’s practicing your smile in the mirror or looking up conversation topics before you head out on your date. Even if you typically have no problem holding a one-on-one conversation, things might look different when you’re full of nerves and hormones. A few tips to keep things running smoothly are practical and welcomed.
The problem comes when we view those we’re attracted to as another species. Most people have no problem forming friendships; why should romantic relationships be any different? When we say things like “Men like feeling strong,” or “Girls like attention,” we’re not only making vast generalizations, we’re dehumanizing them. When you think, “How do I talk to boys?” you’re not thinking, “How should I talk to this individual person?”
And let’s not forget: no matter what tips and tricks you use to attract the one you’re interested in, eventually you’ll have to figure out whether you’re really compatible when you’re just being yourselves. Why not save yourself some time and be genuine from the very beginning?
If you’re not used to dealing with people you’re attracted to, any idea can be worth trying out to help you overcome your nerves. When you’re ready for a real, long-term relationship, however, you’ll discover there are no “tricks” to finding love: it’s simply whether or not two individuals are the right fit.
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