I Really Like Him, But He’s Pulling Away

When you start dating a man you find incredibly attractive, you may be tempted to dive into a relationship head first, with gusto. The problem? He might not feel the same way, so you could both end up getting hurt. Instead of making assumptions early on in a relationship about where it's headed, it's best to take things slowly and listen to each other's needs.

Many times, the problem is that you aren't really listening to each other. Maybe you feel intense chemistry and it's overriding everything else - including his thoughts and feelings about dating you. Maybe you want to move forward and date him exclusively, but he's fine with how things are and only wants to date you occasionally.

Have you been honest with him about your feelings and what you want, or are you scared he may pull away? If you have told him, how has he reacted? Has he expressed his feelings to you? Has he told you things like "work is really busy for me right now" or "I'm not ready for a commitment," or even, "I want to take things slowly?" If he has, then you haven't been paying close attention to how the relationship is progressing and what he's been communicating. He's not on the same page. The problem is not that he doesn't want to get serious, it's that you're not willing to accept his answer.

I have to admit, I liked seeing what I wanted to see in all of my romantic interactions. If a man told me he wasn't interested in anything serious, you could bet I'd fall head over heels for him. I figured if there was chemistry, we must both feel the same way - or worse, I thought eventually he'd see the light and fall hopelessly in love with me, too. This couldn't have been further from the truth.

Instead of hearing what you want to hear, make sure you are really listening to what your date is saying. If he's not ready to commit, take him at his word. Don't try to pressure him, call him incessantly, or make plans more often just because that's how you want the relationship to progress.

If you sense he is backing off, or if he tells you that he's not ready, take a step back. Stop texting and calling so often. Try not to control the relationship - instead, take control of your own dating life.

What I mean by that is: continue to date other people. Don't act like the relationship is exclusive until it really is. Keep your social life going. If you spend all of your time and energy on someone who's not interested in commitment when you are, you'll end up becoming bitter and resentful. Instead, continue dating and keeping your options open. You're entitled, and this way, you'll definitely meet someone who feels the same way about you.