Head To Toe: Body Language Basics

Statistics show that communication is approximately 20% vocal tonality, 20% actual spoken language, and a whopping 60% body language. In simple terms: it's not what you say that really counts - it's how you say it.

Body language functions in exactly the same way as spoken languages do, with one major difference: everyone can speak it, but almost no one can read it. Though the human body is constantly transmitting information, most people are unable to consciously translate the messages it sends and therefore miss out on understanding vitally important communiqués in social interactions. If, on the other hand, you're part of the gifted minority that can deliberately interpret body language, you will have access to information about people that they're not even aware they're sharing. Sometimes you will even know people better than they know themselves.

Developing an understanding of body language is essential to learning how to date effectively. From the moment someone meets you, they are subconsciously using your body language to assess and categorize you based on the information they gather. At the same time, their body is sending countless signals that indicate things like their state of mind and level of interest in you. Comprehending body language gives you a huge advantage in the dating game for two reasons:

1) Because you are better able to understand the inner workings of your date's mind.

2) Because it gives you control over your date's perception of you.

If you're skeptical, if you worry that we should not believe so strongly in the power of body language because it could easily be artificially cultivated, keep in mind that body language is controlled by the subconscious mind, which means that no one is aware, unless they have been trained to be, of the messages they are sending. Very few people are able to learn to completely and effectively control their body language, so it is the most accurate representation of a person's true feelings in any given moment.

If you're in a pessimistic state of mind, for instance, your body language will instantly hint at your negative feelings no matter how hard you try to verbally deny them. You will lower your head and keep your eyes on the ground. You will slouch. You will try to make your body as small as possible in an effort to "disappear." Conversely, when you're in a positive mood, your body language will reflect it by making you smile, stand up straight, and maintain eye contact with people. You will nonverbally indicate that you are a high-value person with numerous attractive qualities.

Learn to take responsibility for determining the messages your body sends because you can have an extraordinary degree of control over them, and the reactions they produce, if you study the way body language works. To get you started on the path towards body language mastery, I've put together a series of posts that will break body language down into easily digestible portions. Up first: the face.