Getting to the Next Date

You've just started dating a great guy. Maybe you've been out two or three times in the last two weeks, and you're really feeling the chemistry. The problem is, you've been in this situation before and it didn't work out as planned. So what can you do to ensure this time things move forward?

First, it's necessary to understand how you normally feel and act when you're in a relationship. If you find yourself falling into old patterns that didn't necessarily serve you well in the past, you may want to try a different tactic this time around. Following are some types of behavior that we exhibit when entering into a new relationship that could cause things to turn:

Acting needy. Maybe when you're single, you're confidant and independent. But when you start falling for a guy, you become a little too attached, too soon. If you tend to sleep with him quickly and then expect an instant boyfriend, slow down. Instead of throwing yourself head first into your new relationship, hold off on sex at the beginning and refrain from texting him multiple times a day. Even if you feel intense chemistry, you don't know what he wants or if he's even thinking long-term. Don't rush things. Take your time and see where it goes. After all, you're just getting to know each other.

Mistrustful. If you've had a boyfriend who's cheated on you in the past, you might have residual feelings of mistrust. Instead of stereotyping men and thinking your new boyfriend might stray too, keep an open mind. He's not part of your past. He deserves the benefit of the doubt unless he's done something already to show he isn't trustworthy.

Skeptical. Maybe you've been excited before and don't want to be disappointed if things don't work out, so you start to pull away. Instead of putting up walls when you're getting to know someone, allow yourself to be a little vulnerable. Intimacy requires vulnerability, so don't let your fears control your relationship trajectory. Be open and honest when you're together and see where it takes you.