Getting Your Mojo Back

When you've gone through a devastating break-up, it's often hard to transition back to dating. After all, it's a world of unknowns, filled with future boyfriends/girlfriends who could hurt you all over again. It's not exactly thrilling to think about.

While everyone needs time to heal after the end of a relationship, it's also important to try to meet people again. You don't want too much time to go by, because you'll be more afraid to take that first step. And really, dating is all about taking small steps.

So what do you do if you're not feeling confident about your dating skills, or you think you're not lovable because your ex left? While these are normal feelings, they are also not true. Everyone is capable of flirting, dating, and falling in love. And everyone is capable of feeling sexy again.

Here's how to begin:

Go out. If you need your friends to support you, then ask. But it's important to step up your social life and go out again, even if it takes you a while to approach new people. Check out the nightlife in your city, a new restaurant, an art gallery opening, or anything that sounds fun and intriguing. Staying on your couch in a pair of pajamas isn't going to change anything.

Accept invitations. Do you have a friend who throws regular parties? Have you made excuses to not attend? Time to change that. In fact, it's a good idea to ask your friend to introduce you to some new people. This way, it's a little easier to begin a conversation rather than with a total stranger.

Relax. Instead of worrying about how uncomfortable you feel or who you'll meet, take things one step at a time. You are taking charge of your life. Flirt a little, even if it's just for practice. If you get asked out, accept. Remember, this isn't a commitment, it's just a date.

Join an online dating site. Maybe you've been afraid of the idea of online dating, but it's a very popular, mainstream activity. There are plenty of people to meet, so don't get hung up on the particulars of who your matches are. Try to enjoy scrolling through profiles or responding to emails. Enlist a friend to do it together and compare notes on your dates. It's a good way to practice dating again, with no pressure from friends and family trying to set you up.

Have fun. Do the activities that you enjoy to lift your spirits. Your energy attracts people to you, so if you still feel shut down it will be a lot harder for potential dates to read whether or not you're interested. If you know that bicycling, cooking, or swimming makes you happy, plan to do it regularly. Nourish yourself first, and you will find your mojo coming back - and you'll be flirting and dating in no time.