Get Your Head Out Of The Clouds
- Wednesday, May 12 2010 @ 08:25 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,837
I frequently compare online dating sites with the hunt to find a potential match “in real life.” Recently, I've begun to notice something vaguely unsettling and a little unexpected about those who attempt both at the same time. To put it simply, many people have much higher expectations when they peruse online dating sites than when they meet someone in a random setting.
You could chalk it up to various mitigating circumstances, as I have in the past. Maybe it has to do with alcohol, which is often present in in-person encounters. Maybe people are more depressed when they're looking online.
And this is very probably true, to a certain extent. However, I think the main factor here is advertising. We've grown up watching movies and TV shows about unlikely pairings, opposites attracting, the fact that the best thing might be right in front of our faces. Thus, we're more mentally open to the idea of growing into a relationship with people we meet by chance. We also tend to discount “love at first sight” as something that exists in only the sappiest of fictional romances.
Now consider the marketing for online dating sites. All of the most saccharine anecdotes are trotted out. We're told explicitly that we can find our perfect match – that we can experience love at first read, even. Rather than being told that the perfect match for us might not be that guy in GQ magazine or that supermodel we dream about, we're encouraged to seek out that dream image. After all, the possibilities are endless, right?
I still think online dating is an incredibly valid and useful tool in finding potential relationships, and meeting new people. I simply worry about those people who might pass up perfectly good matches because they don't line up with their imaginary dream person. I've seen people accept dates from chance encounters simply because the person asking was nice, only to turn up their noses at many exciting options online.
One of the most exciting features of online dating sites is the ability to try out different options and find happiness in unexpected places. Don't miss out by searching only for your “dream” match. Love is exciting enough; it doesn't need to be crammed into a cliché.
You could chalk it up to various mitigating circumstances, as I have in the past. Maybe it has to do with alcohol, which is often present in in-person encounters. Maybe people are more depressed when they're looking online.
And this is very probably true, to a certain extent. However, I think the main factor here is advertising. We've grown up watching movies and TV shows about unlikely pairings, opposites attracting, the fact that the best thing might be right in front of our faces. Thus, we're more mentally open to the idea of growing into a relationship with people we meet by chance. We also tend to discount “love at first sight” as something that exists in only the sappiest of fictional romances.
Now consider the marketing for online dating sites. All of the most saccharine anecdotes are trotted out. We're told explicitly that we can find our perfect match – that we can experience love at first read, even. Rather than being told that the perfect match for us might not be that guy in GQ magazine or that supermodel we dream about, we're encouraged to seek out that dream image. After all, the possibilities are endless, right?
I still think online dating is an incredibly valid and useful tool in finding potential relationships, and meeting new people. I simply worry about those people who might pass up perfectly good matches because they don't line up with their imaginary dream person. I've seen people accept dates from chance encounters simply because the person asking was nice, only to turn up their noses at many exciting options online.
One of the most exciting features of online dating sites is the ability to try out different options and find happiness in unexpected places. Don't miss out by searching only for your “dream” match. Love is exciting enough; it doesn't need to be crammed into a cliché.
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