Fun, Not Formality
- Saturday, March 09 2013 @ 09:38 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,010
So, you’re ready to go on your first date. Whether you’re heading out for a night at the opera or just meeting up for coffee, chances are the process in your head is rather formal. Think about it: two people meet to assess their compatibility. They’re sizing each other up for long-term relationship potential. They’re checking for red flags. Most importantly, they’re trying to get this first-date-stage over and done with so they can move on to the next stage in their relationship. How romantic, right?
It doesn’t help that most of the media we consume - TV and movies - only perpetuates the formality of a date. You might see two people walking along, getting to know each other and having a good time, but chances are it’s set up as an impromptu meeting, not a “date.” You’ve probably seen characters stress over whether they’re “really on a date” or whether “this means they’re dating.” The “date” label almost has more weight than “being in a relationship.” It certainly seems to carry more stress.
But it doesn’t have to! A “date” is, quite literally, what you make of it. Yes, there’s some part of your brain that’s checking for red flags, and the actual point of a first date is to assess your chemistry. Still, that doesn’t mean it has to be a dull question-and-answer session! A great sign of chemistry is whether you can have fun together, so aim for the fun first and see where you wind up.
This might mean coming up with a more unconventional first date, like an air hockey arcade, but don’t feel pressured to come up with something wild - the main goal is to get to know one another, which is why coffee or food in a place where you can talk is such a popular option. No, the fun actually lies in the getting-to-know-you phase - can you joke together? Do you have anything to talk about? Do you have similar ideas when it comes to a good time?
Remember, chemistry contains mutual physical attraction, but more importantly, it also means you like one another. So as you set out on that first date, focus first on that. You’re heading out for a few hours spent with someone who could be great company! Put the formal assessment on the back burner, and look for the fun.
It doesn’t help that most of the media we consume - TV and movies - only perpetuates the formality of a date. You might see two people walking along, getting to know each other and having a good time, but chances are it’s set up as an impromptu meeting, not a “date.” You’ve probably seen characters stress over whether they’re “really on a date” or whether “this means they’re dating.” The “date” label almost has more weight than “being in a relationship.” It certainly seems to carry more stress.
But it doesn’t have to! A “date” is, quite literally, what you make of it. Yes, there’s some part of your brain that’s checking for red flags, and the actual point of a first date is to assess your chemistry. Still, that doesn’t mean it has to be a dull question-and-answer session! A great sign of chemistry is whether you can have fun together, so aim for the fun first and see where you wind up.
This might mean coming up with a more unconventional first date, like an air hockey arcade, but don’t feel pressured to come up with something wild - the main goal is to get to know one another, which is why coffee or food in a place where you can talk is such a popular option. No, the fun actually lies in the getting-to-know-you phase - can you joke together? Do you have anything to talk about? Do you have similar ideas when it comes to a good time?
Remember, chemistry contains mutual physical attraction, but more importantly, it also means you like one another. So as you set out on that first date, focus first on that. You’re heading out for a few hours spent with someone who could be great company! Put the formal assessment on the back burner, and look for the fun.
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