From Screen to Side-by-Side

When you meet someone on the Internet first, and then prepare to meet them in person for the first time, it can be a nerve-wracking experience. Whether it’s a friend or a romantic interest, someone with whom you’ve only exchanged a few emails or someone with whom you’ve been chatting for years, the experience is very much the same. As you head out to see the for the first time, bearing these few facts in mind might make everything go more smoothly.

First, no matter how compatible you are (as friends or more), it will be a little awkward, even if just for a few minutes. It’s strange adjusting to seeing a living, breathing person in front of you; to adjusting your communication style to something less familiar. It’s okay to feel strange at first; they probably are too. Making a joke to address the tension and break the ice - “Where’s my keyboard?” - isn’t a bad idea; by addressing that you both feel a little strange, you’re essentially putting the two of you on the same team. By having the freedom to feel awkward, you give yourself the freedom to get past it all the more quickly.

It’s very rare that someone has a completely different personality from what they display on the internet, but that doesn’t mean that they’re going to be exactly the same. The internet allows people to be a little more uninhibited, a little louder. Sending emails affords the time to edit and be clever. What you see in person is someone “live,” in real time, and quite possibly a little more shy and quiet (at least until they warm up). Again, if they’re a little different it doesn’t mean they’ve been lying or hiding their true personalities; it’s just a slightly different aspect of the same person. Don’t be bewildered at the difference.

Finally, no matter how many pictures you’ve seen of the person you’re about to meet, they will look slightly different in person. Maybe they’ll be smaller, or look better or worse; most of the time, they just look a bit different. It’s the nature of photography, of freezing only a tiny moment or just one certain angle. Even a completely unedited, honest photo isn’t a true representation of the living, 3D-person you’re going to meet. Don’t be alarmed if a quick scan of a coffee shop or restaurant doesn’t have your potential match leaping out at you - your brain is used to looking at only a certain collection of images, not a looking for a real person.

These facts, small and insignificant as they may seem, have been known to cause panic in people who are meeting for the first time. By being aware of the uncertainty you may feel, you can recognize it for what it really is - entirely natural - and cast it aside. Then, you can focus on what’s really important: the person you’re about to meet.