Does Your Friend Abandon You For Her New Boyfriend?

New relationships can be tricky. Especially if you have a close friend who is suddenly unavailable because of her new boyfriend. You're happy for her, but you also want to be part of her life and suddenly you feel abandoned. You can't go out alone together anymore - everywhere she goes, he comes along with her. You can't easily call her at the last minute to get together for a drink and tell her about your day, and you miss her.

So what do you do - do you tell her how you feel, or do you keep silent and wait for this heady in love phase to pass?

While I'd like to give a straightforward answer to this question, it's a tricky thing to navigate. Friendships, like romantic relationships, can change over time. It's a natural thing: friends have less time for each other as they grow older, either because of work, or because they get married, have children, or have other life obligations that take them elsewhere.

Despite this normal life trajectory, you shouldn't have to say goodbye every time your friend finds a new love. If this seems to be a pattern, and she comes running to you whenever she breaks up with someone, then where's the happy medium?

My best advice is to put yourself in your friend's shoes. If you were to find someone special and fall in love, would you want her to be happy for you? Would you prefer to spend your free time with him? If you answered yes to these questions, then you can better understand your friend's point of view. That said, your feelings matter, too.

While I don't advocate putting a guilt trip on your friend or making her feel bad for her choices, you can approach the subject by talking about how the situation makes you feel. For example: "I really miss spending time with you," or "I would love to hang out together again, just the two of us." This way, you are letting her know how you feel without criticizing her choices.

Another thing to remember: romantic, heady love doesn't last. Soon either your friend will break up with him or they will create a life together, which means the romantic days of wanting to spend all their time together won't continue indefinitely. Either way, your friend will want you to be part of her life again, and hopefully you'll still want to be part of hers, too.

Instead of focusing on what you're missing, try socializing more with other friends and going on dates. You'll find when you keep your life moving forward it helps you to be a better friend, as well as a better romantic partner when you do find the right person.