Forgo the Smooth Moves and Be Natural

- Monday, March 25 2013 @ 09:21 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 944
Imagine this: you’re walking down the street and you see someone you find attractive. You’re both at the venue for your favorite hobby - a concert hall, a museum, a motorcycle shop - so you know you might have common interests. And the object of your interest appears to be single. You approach them, and blurt out, “You’re so beautiful. I mean, hey, nice muscles! I mean, has anyone ever told you you’re really hot? Because you totally are.”
If you think this might sound a little strange, and possibly not the most effective way to get a relationship going, you’re not alone. However, when it comes to online dating and first-contact emails, many people - of both genders - feel this is an entirely appropriate and smooth way to kick off a conversation.
Some people think that there are different rules of etiquette and interaction on online dating sites than there are in person, but that’s really not the case! If you wouldn’t say something in person, chances are it’s not going to work on the page either. There’s no trick to a first-contact email; you’re just saying hello, maybe making a comment on something interesting about the profile (preferably not related to the hotness quotient of the recipient) and asking a question to get the conversation going.
When writing an email or even a profile, try reading it aloud. Are you having to stop for a sip of water before you’re through? It’s probably too long. Are you unable to read it without blushing at the steamy language? Perhaps it’s inappropriate for the pre-relationship stage. Reading your writing aloud can also help you catch typos and awkward phrasing that might otherwise slip by unnoticed.
Just remember, an online conversation is virtually the same as one you’d have in real life. You don’t need to think too much about it, and you don’t need to turn into some Casanova or coquette - that will probably be more off-putting than anything. The phrase “be yourself” might be overused in dating, but when writing something online, being natural is your best bet.
If you think this might sound a little strange, and possibly not the most effective way to get a relationship going, you’re not alone. However, when it comes to online dating and first-contact emails, many people - of both genders - feel this is an entirely appropriate and smooth way to kick off a conversation.
Some people think that there are different rules of etiquette and interaction on online dating sites than there are in person, but that’s really not the case! If you wouldn’t say something in person, chances are it’s not going to work on the page either. There’s no trick to a first-contact email; you’re just saying hello, maybe making a comment on something interesting about the profile (preferably not related to the hotness quotient of the recipient) and asking a question to get the conversation going.
When writing an email or even a profile, try reading it aloud. Are you having to stop for a sip of water before you’re through? It’s probably too long. Are you unable to read it without blushing at the steamy language? Perhaps it’s inappropriate for the pre-relationship stage. Reading your writing aloud can also help you catch typos and awkward phrasing that might otherwise slip by unnoticed.
Just remember, an online conversation is virtually the same as one you’d have in real life. You don’t need to think too much about it, and you don’t need to turn into some Casanova or coquette - that will probably be more off-putting than anything. The phrase “be yourself” might be overused in dating, but when writing something online, being natural is your best bet.